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3rd January 2003

I’ve been in Colorado, where I had my first Awesome Blossom (recipe) at Chili’s. I had no idea what I was getting into. They take a genetically engineered gigantuonic onion, slice it decoratively, deep fry it, and slap it on a plate. The result looks like an enormous sea anemone with ranch dressing garnish. It is roughly the size of a small head of iceberg lettuce. In San Francisco, when you order onion rings, you get about four of them on a plate. In Denver, they give you enough to bring your entire circulatory system to a halt right there at the table.

Anyway, next time I go on vacation, I promise to say, “I’m going on vacation now” so I don’t get worried emails. Still haven’t adjusted to the idea that strangers assume that I’ve died/sunk into a deep depression/fallen into a hole where the well used to be when I stop posting. I was in Colorado eating an onion anemone, happy, above ground. Thanks for the notes.

Denver

19th June 2002

I just got back from Colorado, home of The Melting Pot, an all-fondue restaurant. How many times have you thought, “This food just isn’t melted enough. Where can I go for more glutinous culinary options?” Colorado, my friends, land of cheese and honey. And if you’d like a nightcap after a satisfyingly runny meal? Locals head over to Prom Discount Liquors (for all of their underage drinking needs).