Author: maggeh

Curiouser and Curiouser

Curiosa is fascinating. It’s by an artist who collects the detritus of fame, death, and other aspects of life, and groups them in interesting ways. He has a communion wafer from JFK’s funeral, a straw with Monica Lewinsky’s lipstick from the Barbara Walters interview, mortician’s eye caps (which are sharp on one side to keep a corpse’s eyes from popping open), and countless other bits of not-quite-trash. Amazing.

Verification

In a museum the other day:

Are those real skulls?

Huh. I don’t know.

I’ll check the materials tag.

What does it say?

“Oil and human skulls on canvas.”

Yep.

Overheard

A man and woman are headed toward the junkyard where the Second Annual Power Tool Drag Races are about to begin. He’s sporting a mohawk and kilt with no underwear, she’s wearing a bra with dozens of three inch spikes on the cups. He says, “So you were a cheerleader, or you just have the pom-poms?”

On the Road

You know you’ve lived in a big city too long when room-service prices at the Fairmont look cheap. The best thing about being on the 19th floor is standing right in front of the bay window, naked, brushing your teeth.

Bryan has packed five tubes of chapstick in his travel bag.

TivoLution

Do you remember the first time you said something stupid and had a reflex to hit the undo command? That’s happening to me with TiVo technology now. In the last few weeks, I’ve had the urge to rewind NPR more than once. In conversation, if I want someone to get to the point, I think, “bloop-bloop, bloop-bloop.”

Confucious says

Eliza’s has toothbrush vending machines in the bathroom. For some reason, I find this unsavory. Perhaps it’s because I normally associate bathroom vending machine products with people’s crotches. Word to the wise: If you’re looking for something to put in your mouth, don’t begin your search in a public restroom.

Adventure in Bad Copywriting

Has anyone listened to the rapper in the background on that Dodge Durango commercial? He actually says: “I grab life like I grab my wife!”

Which is just a smidge more awful than the compelling tagline on the posters for the new Lizzie McGuire movie: “She’s leaving home and going to Rome.”