It Never Rains in Seattle


I’m in Seattle. The coffee is really good here, and so is the weather. “It rains alllll the time! All of us are sad!

Please. I’m on to you, Washington.

I’m here for Bumbershoot, which is a music festival, and PAX, which is a gamer expo. The latter is a particular delight. Last night we were passing through a hotel lobby, and a group of attendees were getting up to leave. The front desk lady yelled, “WAIT! One of you forgot this,” and held aloft a giant inflatable sword. The group looked around confused, until one of them realized he was about to leave unarmed and ran over to claim it.


On the way out of dinner,  Jessie overheard a guy say, “Actually, she was originally a unicorn…” He was wearing a tail.

I like it here very much. Everyone should move to Seattle forthwith to enjoy the weather, coffee, and cosplay. Together we can drive up property values and begin to publicly complain about the weather, because you can’t possibly imagine how bad it is until you live here. No, really.

12 thoughts on “It Never Rains in Seattle

  1. Seattle is incredibly gorgeous and not at all rainy from July through September. The sky then turns gray and stays that way for the next nine months.

    It’s quite a shock when you move up there in July. I spent the whole of my first October up there in denial: “It was SO beautiful just two weeks ago! The clouds are bound to burn off soon!”


  2. This made me laugh. Don’t believe the summertime hype! I lived there for 8 years and finally ran screaming back to the east coast where I’m happy to report my vitamin D levels have returned to normal. Huzzah!


  3. …and a mere three days later, flood warnings are in effect for the greater Seattle area. You have spoken publicly of the mythical Seattle sun, and the gods are angry! (The first rule of Seattle sun is you do not talk about Seattle sun.)


  4. I adore Seattle and Washington State. I moved here 10 years ago from….New Zealand, and its now very much my home here. I am so thrilled that you got here for Bumbershoot – isn’t it amazeballs!


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