Filling out the paperwork for my oral surgery, I noticed I was signing a consent form for bone grafting. I had some questions for the person at the desk.
-Uh. Are you taking some of my jaw and putting it somewhere else in my jaw?
-Where do you get the bone for the bone grafting?
-Oh, it’s a pre-treated crushed bone. Sort of like sand we use to fill the space.
-Is it human bone?
-No, it’s cadaver. It’s animal bone.
-… Doesn’t cadaver mean “dead human body?”
-No, I’m pretty sure cadaver is a kind of animal.
In the end, she asked the doctor, who confirmed that it was dead-person sand they were packing in my jaw. This made me feel uncomfortable, and then deeply grateful. Signing that donor card is such an act of grace. I never anticipated needing anything quite so personal from a stranger, but here I am. Since the surgery, I’m carrying something sacred around with me — a little thimbleful of someone else.
Also, my jaw is now certifiably haunted. So if I say something insulting the next time I see you, you can’t necessarily prove it was me. Stupid.
62 thoughts on “Also, My Jaw Can Walk Through Walls Now”
We must NEVER tell him. He would definitely start blogging if he knew there was such a thing. And then, everyone would know what an annoying mother I am.
Next time you go there bring a casserole for the receptionist ladies. Tell them it’s cadaver meat. See who still eats it. =)
At first I was all “yuk, bone from dead person” but after I read the rest, you’re right. It’s quite graceful – with the added bonus of haunted mouth. You can call someone a dumb ass and when their eyebrows arch, you can be like “it’s the spirits in my mouth!”
Maybe that’s how turrets started …
she must have thought that you may be more offended by the idea of having dead-people bone in you rather than dead-animal bone.
Totally unrelated, but I had to share this link with you. http://www.go-girl.com
Timmi – You mean Turrets, as in the syndrome, right? Cause when I first read your comment I was thinking the tall roundish parts of castles and was all, “They’re judging the receptionist?!”
Awesome post, Mags.
THIS is my favorite post I’ve ever read here.
well, perhaps she thought it was from a cadaver dog?
I just had the same thing this week, my surgeon said the graft was pulverized bovine bone. He said the only side effect was an increased desire to eat grass. He’s not as funny as he thinks he is!
I feel your pain!
my mom had the same thing done. totally creeped me out.
Ugh, I have to get this done, too. My surgeon was reviewing my options and said they usually use cadaver bone but can use cow if that makes me more comfortable. I think the cow bone freaks me out more than the human bone.
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