Ow. My Heart.

My Life

More questionable wisdom from my baby-update newsletter. This one is from an article about things that will change once you become a mom:

“18. If you have a son, you no longer curse men. (Hooray for all men!)

19. If you have a daughter, you hope she won’t endure your same heartaches.”

Apparently, before I got pregnant I totally hated men and found that the most notable aspect of being a woman was how it made my soul ache, like, constantly.

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18 thoughts on “Ow. My Heart.”

  2. This reminds me of a smoothie shop I went into a few years ago. You could get various additives smoothed into your smoothie, and two of the options were “masculine blend” and “feminine blend.” The manly stuff would supposedly make you strong and aggressive, whereas the girly blend essentially worked as a sedative. I was working at a rape crisis center at the time, and the idea of a bunch of hypermasculine men around women who had been turned into dainty automatons was especially abhorrent.

    I ordered the man brew in a passive-aggressive attempt at rebellion.

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  3. Makes you wonder where they found a dinosaur who could type up this stuff, doesn’t it? I mean, with their short little arms, a T-Rex would never be able to reach the keyboard…

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  7. Wow – those newsletter are really scary. And maybe the most scary part is that there are women out there who are hanging on every word.

    PS I’m not Mighty Girl – I’m another Maggie!

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  8. Interesting post. We are in the middle of the adoption process in the UK – so are up to our ears in child development theory, and all that kind of fun stuff.

    You’ve made me wonder now if I will change as a person or not. I guess I’ll have to ask my friends to report on that one 🙂

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  9. When you have a boy, you only have to worry about one dick.
    When you have a girl, you have to worry about all of them.

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  10. Also, when you have a boy you will all of a sudden stop hating sports, and will be able to talk politics intelligently.

    Who writes this tripe, and where do I sign up? I could use some extra cash misleading unsure new moms and dads with overused, clichéd (is that redundant?) regurgitations of twenty-year-old advice.

    Apparently, I’ve quite angry today. Must work that out.

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  12. Hmm. Yeah.

    Kind of agree with both; it’s a very broad topic, indeed. By way of illumination, might I reccommend Self Made Man by Nora Vincent, an incredible book of one woman’s journey onto the inner sactum of men by way of impersonation. Certainly, every man should read this in order to assure themselves that at there are some who posses the XX chomosomes who do, in fact, understand the bizarre, perverse, and, yes, sometimes noble, elements of male society.

    As always, your blog is capable of brightening even the most overcast of days (you, living in San Francisco are perhaps most qualified of all to see rainbows in the fog).

    Cowabunga, Mightygirl!

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  13. I kind of get it (having one of each flavoured child myself) but gee, surely there’s more crucial information you should be receiving in your ante-natal de-briefings?!

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  15. And it would seem I’m so appalled that I can’t even write in complete sentences that don’t make me sound like a robot!

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  17. Babycenter’s lists of names are SO WRONG. God… we could get sponsorships for babies, you know, so we get money for the College funds for the kiddies and companies get free adverts for their products (this of course ispired by the idea of calling my kid Arden).

    Ritz! Double Stuf! Time to get going, we have to be at your cousin Frito Lay’s birthday party and on the way we have to collect your friends Dallas Cowboys and Minnesota Timberwolves.

    Shoot me now, please.

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  18. Naming your child Bananna or Peapod is just asking for your child to be riduculed by his peers. Cha’Nce just makes it seem like baby was a mistake.

    and I know it’s God’Iss (goddess) but it looks like it’s pronounced Godless.

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