The Thirst Quencher

Say you wake up, and it’s still dark, and you’re groggy, and you’re thirsty.
Say you stumble into the kitchen, and you see the silhouette of a container of cranberry juice on the counter. Say you’re sleepy, so you don’t stop to think about why it’s not in the fridge, or why the cap feels funny.

In that situation, my advice for you is not to drink it. It’s probably olive oil.