Things That Happend at My Bachelorette

Had three seemingly innocent cocktails at the hotel. Noticed I was having trouble balancing. Turns out Vodka, Tequila, and Watermelon Schnapps (with a twist of lime) are pinkly delicious.
Almost climbed into a Toyota–occupied by a family of four–because I was under the mistaken impression that it was our cab.
Climbed into an actual cab with aforementioned Pink Terror cocktail in hand. This was less of a problem than you might expect, as the cab driver already had a bottle of beer in his cup holder.
Danced with another bachelorette’s giant inflatable penis.
Thanked my dear friends for not making me carry a giant inflatable penis.
Danced with a bridesmaid near a wall of cheering Latin gentlemen. When one of us tipped too far off vertical, said gentlemen caught us, tilted us upright, and resumed cheering.
Wore a pink, leopard-print G-string on my head.
Accidentally sprayed cherry-flavored whipped cream all over a friend’s blouse.
Assured my roommate that it was fine that she was making out with my high school sweetheart, who happened to be dressed as a very unattractive woman for the evening.