Chances Are

15th August 2003

I go grocery shopping with Rachel, and suddenly our cart is missing.

Where’s our cart?

Wha..?

Where’s our cart?

Shit, my wallet was in there.

Shit.

Rachel hunts down the embarrassed girl who accidentally took our cart, reclaims the cart and my wallet, and puts my wallet in her purse. Ten minutes later the cart is about half full.

Where’s our cart?

Right there.

Where?

Behind the potatoes.

No, it’s not.

What the f—?

This is unbelievable.

We hunt down the new girl who took our cart. She gives us a nasty look as we approach. She does not like people. She especially does not like people approaching her cart.

Excuse me, I think you may have accidentally taken our cart.

I don’t think so. This is my cart. (sneers)

Oh… Uh…

This is my cart.

Really? Did you have two bags of broccoli…

This is definitely my cart. (begins pulling cart away from us)

…and two separate bags of potatoes and two separate bags of snap peas…

Oh. I guess it isn’t my cart.

Yeah.

Sorry.

No problem.

That last bit, the apology? It was unconvincing. Later, we were forced to mock her. “This is my Mac ‘N’ Cheese.” “Oh, I don’t think so. What you have there is my Mac ‘N’ Cheese.”