WHERE’S MY BOYFRIEND, BITCH?

Brrrrriiing!

Brrrrrriiiing!

Me: Yeeees?

Her: Hi….Wha…? Is Alfred there?

Me: Is that the bartender?

Her: The bartender? No. (peeved) Who is this?

Me: Maggie.

Her: (anger mounting) Maggie who?

Me: Maggie Berry.

Her: (anger peaks) Where’s Alfred?

Me: Do you know you’re calling Hobson’s Choice?

Her: What?

Me: The bar, Hobson’s Choice.

Her: Who are you?!

Me: Did you mean to call a pay phone?

Her: Oh! My mistake.

Click.

5:14 p.m.