APPRAISAL

Cultural lessons via “Antiques Roadshow.”

American:

-Yes, that’s pretty neat. We’re glad you brought it in today. Any idea what it’s worth?

-None at all. No idea at all.

-It’s quite an unusual piece, it’s been a treat to see it. And I think–are you ready for this? I’d say around $800.

-NOOOOOOO KIDDING! Gosh! I had no idea! HA! Ha. I just can’t believe it.

-And how much did you pay for it?

-Just three dollars!!!!

-Happy?

-Yes, that’s just wonderful. Thanks so much!

British:

-Well, do you like the piece?

-Yeeees. Certainly.

-Yes, it’s lovely. Well, do you get good use of it?

-Yes. Yes.

-Well, I’d say, if you wanted to replace it, it would cost around 15 katrillion pounds.

-Yes. Right. Thank you.

9:09 p.m.