7th June 2001

People in the Neighborhood:

The guy three houses down from me has a big dog. Every time I pass, he nods toward the dog and says, “He’s friendly.” The first time, I didn’t think anything of it. Around the fifteenth time, I started to get uncomfortable. My theory is that my neighbor doth protest too much. At some point, that dog must have killed a small child or his owner wouldn’t be so insistent about how friendly he is. Friendly as in, “I just don’t understand why Cuddles ripped that woman’s arm off, he’s always been so friendly.”

2:19 p.m.