13th April 2001

A while ago, I finished Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. It’s a modern satire with a hilarious main character. The author committed suicide without ever trying to have the work published. His mother got it published and it won the Pulitzer. My favorite parts:

  • Your total ignorance of that which you profess to teach merits the death penalty. I doubt whether you know that St. Cassian of Imola was stabbed to death by his students with their styli…Pray to him, you deluded fool, you “anyone for tennis?” golf-playing, cocktail-quaffing, pseudo-pedant.
  • My mentality, uncontrollable and wanton as always, whispered to me a scheme so magnificent and daring that I shrank from the very thought of what I was hearing. “Stop! I cried imploringly my godlike mind. “This is madness!”
  • “Santa, honey, that’s a sweet little Blessed Virgin you got on top that TV,” Mrs. Reilly said.
    …Santa said, “Ain’t it nice, though? It’s a little Our Lady of the Television. It’s got a suction cup base so I don’t knock it over when I’m banging around in the kitchen. I bought it by Lenny’s”
    “Lenny’s got everything,” Mrs. Reilly said. “It looks like it’s made outta nice plastic, too. Don’t break.”

      11:20 a.m.