19th January 2001

Watching a kid’s infomercial about a spectacular new mechanical toothbrush, the voiceover exclaims, “BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!” My five year old niece turns to me smiling and says, “They always say, ‘that’s not all.'” Smart kid.

4:01 p.m.

The last week has not been so good. A few days ago, I managed to upset one of my closest friends. Last night, a violently crazy homeless woman charged at me while I was trying to find someplace to eat on Valencia. (She also called me a bitch, which–I think you’ll agree–was really just uncalled for.) In a few hours, I’m off to have several needles inserted in my currently unperforated arms, so some sleepy little diseases can have a party with my immune system. What wonders will the weekend hold? It could be anything, really: severe food poisoning, mugging, drive by, or a friend could visit and demand that I take him to Pier 39.

10:33 a.m.