Overheard: The beautiful girl on her cell phone leaves a message.

“I don’t know whether you’re ignoring me, or just, like, extra busy or something. I really want to talk to you… Whatever.”

Excellent dialogue from my friend’s four-year-old daughter, Isabel:

When playing with a toy harmonica, elbows akimbo–
“All right everybody! Let’s hear one for the briiiide!”

When coaxing the dog to chase you–
“C’mon, doggie! Chase me! C’mon doggie! You wanna piece of me, doggie? You wanna piece of me?!”

When encouraging the dog to obtain a cookie traped inside his hollow toy–
“Get it, doggie! Eat it! You know who you are! You know what you want! EAT IT!”

In line for coffee, he calls the barista’s name three times — loudly, excitedly. When she finally responds, her face is blank, her voice flat. “Hi,” she says, and turns back to her work.

Dude gets out of line, pretending to look at the café art while waiting for her to engage. Dude will be waiting for quite some time.

Bathroom graffito:

“…Be that as it may, with the political climate of today it is disheartening, and embarrassing, to call oneself an American.”

Overheard on the street:

“I’d say Thailand really has the best street food.”

-So I told him to grow up, and he was like, “I don’t plan to.”
-Whoa. You have to take him at his word there.
-Don’t I know it.
- I’ve never understood guys who say shit like that out loud, like it’s some badge of honor. “I don’t ever want to grow up. I’m still exploring my childlike wonder.”
-It’s like, “Later, virgin.”