As we discussed last week, today is my pretend birthday. Hooray! Pretend birthday hats for everyone.

Three and eleven are my favorite numbers, so age 33 is particularly auspicious. If you see me, you should probably rub my tummy for good luck.

Every year, I make birthday resolutions, because I find them weightier than the New Year’s variety. This year, I have three big ones:

1. Don’t drop-kick the puppy.

In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott writes:

“Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.”

This year, I’d like to be a little gentler with myself. I need to focus on my health, my environment, and the present tense. I’m going to take all the time I waste replaying my various inadequacies, and spend it celebrating the things I should be grateful for instead.

2. Make my work the best it can be.

Here’s the part where I lay a little Oprah on you — she always comes up when I’m course plotting. She says the defining question in her life is:

“How do you use your life to best serve yourself and then extend that to the world?”

I spend a disproportionate amount of time working, and this is because I have an awesome job. I’m feeling inspired lately, especially by the design community, and I’d like to use that momentum to rethink the Mighty sites with Oprah’s question in mind.

3. Harness the good.

This is something I think about almost every day. There are so many of you. I’d like to know more about what you know, and find ways to make each others’ lives better. I’m still working through the details, but I want to do some sort of group project with the Mighty Life Lists many of you made with me. Perhaps we could start by crossing a few things off.

Anyway, that’s the overview. There are many detailed to-dos attached to each goal, and I’m excited to tackle them. It’s going to be a good year. You come too.

So remember when I told you that most women’s underwear makes me want to stab people? I asked the universe where to get comfy yet stylish underwear, and 105 of you ponied up.

As a thank you, here’s a round up of the cutest and most oft’ name-checked undies in the all of Mightyland:

Adorable Enough to Risk It

Aerie Gobstopper Boyfly Boybrief (3 Votes)

$4 (on sale) from American Eagle

Maidenform “Micro & Lace” Boy-Short Panty (2 Votes)

$9 from Macy’s

Lulu Boy Pant (1 Vote)

$35 from Macy’s

Cute and Reliable

Hanky Panky Boy Shorts and Bikinis (7 votes) and Thongs (4 votes)

$34 each from Nordstrom

$26 each from Nordstrom

$18 each from Nordstrom

(I must interject here that I will wear thongs only for as long it takes to get me laid, but so many people mentioned these that I couldn’t ignore them.)

Women’s Mesh Hipster Underwear (4 Votes)

$3 each (on sale) from Old Navy

Straightforward Crowd Pleasers

Gilligan & O’Malley Modal Underwear (3 Votes)

$10 for two from Target

Hanes Body Creations Stretch Cotton Hipster (4 votes)

$8 for three from Amazon

Regular Rise Cotton Bikini (9 votes)

$4 (on sale) from Gap Body

Jockey Comfies Cotton Bikinis (4 Votes)

$24 for three from Jockey

There now. I feel more pleasant already.

My last piece for JC Penney’s is about my inexplicable lust for pretty dishtowels. I also did a roundup of the ones I covet most on Etsy. So if you like cool dishtowels, we should have a party together where we use wasteful paper towels to wipe up any messes.

The time has come to buy new underwear. However, since having that cute baby and then losing the pregnancy weight, something has gone awry. All currently fashionable underwear is now made to go up my butt.

Bikini undies? Sure! If you like them up your butt. Tap pants? Sounds good, assuming you enjoy that extra material nestled up your butt. Boy shorts? Why waste effort walking around for 10 minutes? Just wedge them up your butt immediately so you can tug uncomfortably at your jeans for the next eight hours.

Listen, I’m already wearing shoes that make my feet bleed. The underwire on my bra is probably jabbing my ribs. You don’t want me any more irritated. It’s taking all my willpower not to cut someone. Introduce up-the-butt pants to this precarious scenario, and I can’t be held responsible. I also probably won’t be able to operate a motor vehicle.

Do you hear me, Universe? Take me to your comfortable yet stylish underwear! You drive.

A few friends and I have been reading a book on wellness that suggests eight ways to improve your life. It says you should choose a few and run with them, so I decided on:

Meditation:
Me thinking about light flowing into my head, and then thinking how nice it would be to nap.

Visualization:
Me thinking about how well things are going, then wondering when disaster will strike.

Conscious eating:
Me conquering food allergies by doing a restricted diet for 21 days, then remembering that I have hives because I really like to eat the stuff I’m not supposed to have.

Doing Fun Activities:
Me doing things that make me happy.

For the record, doing fun things is better than denying yourself caffeine. Should you choose to follow this path, I’d recommend starting with the fun stuff and worrying about your gluten intake later.

I’ve decided to do one fun thing a day, and it turns out that fun stuff is awesome. Yesterday I went down to City Hall to celebrate gay and lesbian couples getting married. There was a huge crowd, and lots of happy tears, and much merriment. Added bonus: no one yelled ugly things at the newlyweds.

So you see, we’re all evolving as a team.