Hank asked to be a Monkey Robot for Halloween, so our work here is done.

Here is my child dressed as Everything That is Awesome. I based his robot panel on Arlo’s robot costume from a few years back, which is the work of my supermom designer friend Jen Robbins.

Bryan and I were thinking of going as mad scientists, until we hit upon the scheme of going as a robot and a monkey. This is my subdued girl-robot costume, with Blade Runner hair and mini-loaf tin shoulder pads.

The best part of the costume were the leg circuits. We drew them on with Crayola markers, then I put nylons over them.

I figured I’d just wear pants until they washed off, and then belatedly remembered we have fancy plans tonight. Le sigh. “Hello, I’m the girl with the sub-par tattoos.”

Bryan is a real natural in the role of monkey. It’s too bad we didn’t bring along any plastic poop for flinging, because I think that would have really made the costume. Next year.

More costume and Halloween photos on Flickr.

Since Halloween is looming, I thought I’d post a quick tutorial for Hank’s costume from last year. Here’s what you’ll need:

A sweatshirt (3T) and matching sweatpants
About 30 felt squares (15 of each color) for your scales and tail
1 white felt square
1 black felt square
Stiff, starched fabric for the crown
Clean 28 oz tin can
Scissors
Glue Gun
2 hours in front of the TV
Glass of wine

Sweatshirt costumes are great for toddlers because they feel familiar, so they’re easier to get on and off. This costume is great because you can use any color combos you want, which means that the stained sweatshirt you planned to throw away will work fine. We chose orange and yellow because Hank was into Finding Nemo at the time.

The tail is two pieces of felt hot glued in place. To make the bottom piece, I folded a felt square in half on the diagonal, cut away along the fold to make the tail shape, then glued the two sides together for extra stiffness. The top part of the tail is just a piece of scrap left over from cutting the scales.

I smooshed a large tin can until it was approximately scale shaped, and used it to trace the scales onto the felt. I folded felt squares in half so I could trace once and cut out two scales at a time.

The eye is felt too. I used drinking glasses as templates for the circles. The crown was a little trickier.

Mine is made from a reusable shopping bag, which was just the right stiffness. I cut a bunch of uniform rectangular strips, then bent them in L-shapes and glued the bottom parts of the Ls in a line along the top seam of the hood. I alternated which way the bottoms of the Ls were facing, and overlapped the strips slightly, so each strip kind of supported the one next to it.

I trimmed the top into a rough half circle, and trimmed away excess fabric from the bits I’d glued down. Then I took a leftover felt scale, cut it in half, and glued one piece on either side of the crown for added structure, and to hide the messiness.

You can see from this photo how I glued the scales — this sweatshirt is a 3T. I started at the bottom and worked my way up with the sweatshirt zipped closed. Take care not to glue over the zipper.

Same deal with the back, and voila!

You have yourself a little fishy. Happy Halloween!

Behold! The cutest little fishy on the face of the planet.

And his little fish bum too! Oh. My. Goodness. The glue-gun burns were a small price to pay.

Bryan was a sea captain.

And I was a jellyfish. I made my hat from a lampshade.

The joy buzzer was the best part of my costume.

The whole costume only cost me like $11. Before going out for the night I added tentacles and a sweater. Surprisingly, there were tons of jellyfish on the street, the best one being a girl who had affixed blacklights to the underside of a white umbrella. I practically genuflected in the street. Happy Halloween!

“How the hell did you do that?”
“I promised him chocolate.”
“Oh.”

So Hank would put his hat on to obtain candy, and then remove the hat once he’d procured it. After about the fifth house, he just left it on. Suckah!

Later that night, Bryan settled in while I figured out what to wear to Meg and Rahul’s annual Halloween bash. I ultimately went as Mia from Pulp Fiction, because I randomly had all the elements in my closet.

Please note the faux hypodermic needle sticking out of my chest.

I was going to bloody my face, but Bryan advised against it on the grounds that the “needle” would only last 20 minutes or so and then I’d just look like some confusing modern-day Cleopatra zombie.

Shockingly, the needle went the distance. Around 2 a.m. I had to steady myself against a bathroom stall at the Makeout Room while another drunk girl peeled it off my chest. It wasn’t nearly as hot as it sounds.

What Big Ears He Has, originally uploaded by MaggieMason.

Halloween in December! My friend Margaret Stewart sent us this photo, and she had the only shots of our family Halloween costumes. I’m Little Red Riding Hood, Bryan’s Grandma, and Hank is the Big Bad Wolf.

This year’s Halloween was super rockadelic. I dressed up as a Hotdog on a Stick girl, and Bryan (my ever-trusty sidekick) was an enormous hotdog on a stick. It was fun, if a little overwhelming because of all the Castro men exclaiming over Bryan. “What are you? What are yooou? OOOOHHH. NOOO. You aren’t! You naughty, naughty thing. Largest on record! Soo naughty!” Rusa has more photos. Other highlights:

The drunk guy who was doing a very convincing girl imitation in his living room window above the crowd. He had on some bikini thing and a mesh beaded top, and he was grinding to wild cheers from the crowd below (most of whom were unaware that he wasn’t a she). He ultimately grabbed onto his curtain rod to do a sort of improvised stripper routine. Of course the aluminum rod came crashing down, taking Paula Abdul right along with it.

The girl who passed me saying, “I wanted a guy to say that to me, not a girl.”

A brief exchange with Evan:

Me: Hey! Someone just pinched my ass!

Evan: Me too.