I’m posting a Halloween-themed cocktail every day this week, because I cannot wait for Halloween. GAH.
Did that guy seriously show up to your costume party in a T-shirt and jeans? He did. Does that guy hope to be drinking your booze this evening? Then perhaps he should consider attending as a vampire.
Bloodthirsty Mulled Wine
- 3 Tbsp. Honey
- 2 strips lemon zest
- 2 strips orange zest
- 2 strips ginger
- 2 cinnamon sticks
- 8 cloves
- 1 tsp vanilla
- juice of an orange
- 2 bottles cheap red wine
- 3 Tbsp. Grand Marnier
Add all the non-alcoholic ingredients to a pot, and bring to a simmer while stirring, adding more orange juice or a little water if necessary to keep it from burning. Once this mixture is syrupy and you can start to smell the spices, add the wine and Grand Marnier and bring it to a boil. Then turn the heat to low and keep the whole mess on the stove so guests can ladle directly from the pot. Pro tip! Make sure your pot is big enough because if it boils over, the alcohol will ignite, and flames will ensue. Or so I have heard.
Here’s to pillowcases full of candy, babies dressed like fat, furry animals, and TPing the neighbor who hands out rasins. What are you toasting this week?
I’m making 100 cocktails as part of my Life List. This is number twelve. Here are the rest:
This is what I serve at my annual pumpkin-carving party. Hot cider is usually too sweet for me, so I add unsweetened cranberry juice — not cranberry cocktail, but the real stuff that’s just smooshed cranberries — to make a pleasantly tart variation.
Halloween Spiked Cider
-3 Cups Unfiltered Apple Juice
-1 Cup Unsweetened Cranberry Juice
-2 Cinnamon Sticks
-2 Strips of Lemon Zest
-2 Strips of Orange Zest
-Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum
Combine everything but the rum in a saucepan, and simmer for 10 minutes. Add rum to taste. I do about a shot per cup. Bourbon and brandy work too, which makes this an excellent party punch. Just line the bottles up next to the stovetop. Non-drinkers can just have cider, drinkers can choose their poison.
If you want to make your own apple cups, use a circular cookie cutter to punch out the top, and hollow out the inside with a spoon. Grapefruit spoons work particularly well. If you’re a meticulous sort, you can add a few drops of candle wax to seal the bottom, sometimes the seed chamber connects with the bottom and the cup leaks.
Here’s to roasted pumpkin seeds, mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and decorative gourd season, motherfuckers. What are you toasting this week?
I’m making 100 cocktails as part of my Life List. This is number 11. Here are the rest:
Age 1: Hank will not wear a hat, thwarting all adorable handmade costume options. Mai helps me safety-pin some strategically arranged faux fur to a brown hoodie to improvise a baby Big Bad Wolf costume. He tolerates the hood for 30-second stretches before bucking.
Age 2: Hank will not wear costumes. Dress-up boxes make him keen. Despondent, I purchase this toddler Elephant costume at a thrift store for $5, knowing that if I make something by hand, I will not be sane about his refusal to wear it. His father bribes him with chocolate.
Age 3: When prompted, Hank asks to be Nemo. My glee borders on mania. My gluegun runneth over. (FYI: Nemo/Fish Costume tutorial that can be adapted for adult sizes if you’re feeling it.)
Age 4: Hank asks to be a Monkey Robot. Say it again, I whisper. A monkey robot. This! This is my child. I spend hours fashioning the monkiest robotiest costume possible. Halloween! We are a Halloween family.
A year later, there are still tears of pride standing in my eyes as I ask,
-What do you want to be for Halloween this year, Hank? An astronaut race car driver? A mad scientist superhero?
Hank asked to be a Monkey Robot for Halloween, so our work here is done.
Bryan and I were thinking of going as mad scientists, until we hit upon the scheme of going as a robot and a monkey. This is my subdued girl-robot costume, with Blade Runner hair and mini-loaf tin shoulder pads.
The best part of the costume were the leg circuits. We drew them on with Crayola markers, then I put nylons over them.
I figured I’d just wear pants until they washed off, and then belatedly remembered we have fancy plans tonight. Le sigh. “Hello, I’m the girl with the sub-par tattoos.”
Bryan is a real natural in the role of monkey. It’s too bad we didn’t bring along any plastic poop for flinging, because I think that would have really made the costume. Next year.
Since Halloween is looming, I thought I’d post a quick tutorial for Hank’s costume from last year. Here’s what you’ll need:
A sweatshirt (3T) and matching sweatpants
About 30 felt squares (15 of each color) for your scales and tail
1 white felt square
1 black felt square
Stiff, starched fabric for the crown
Clean 28 oz tin can
2 hours in front of the TV
Glass of wine
Sweatshirt costumes are great for toddlers because they feel familiar, so they’re easier to get on and off. This costume is great because you can use any color combos you want, which means that the stained sweatshirt you planned to throw away will work fine. We chose orange and yellow because Hank was into Finding Nemo at the time.
The tail is two pieces of felt hot glued in place. To make the bottom piece, I folded a felt square in half on the diagonal, cut away along the fold to make the tail shape, then glued the two sides together for extra stiffness. The top part of the tail is just a piece of scrap left over from cutting the scales.
I smooshed a large tin can until it was approximately scale shaped, and used it to trace the scales onto the felt. I folded felt squares in half so I could trace once and cut out two scales at a time.
The eye is felt too. I used drinking glasses as templates for the circles. The crown was a little trickier.
Mine is made from a reusable shopping bag, which was just the right stiffness. I cut a bunch of uniform rectangular strips, then bent them in L-shapes and glued the bottom parts of the Ls in a line along the top seam of the hood. I alternated which way the bottoms of the Ls were facing, and overlapped the strips slightly, so each strip kind of supported the one next to it.
I trimmed the top into a rough half circle, and trimmed away excess fabric from the bits I’d glued down. Then I took a leftover felt scale, cut it in half, and glued one piece on either side of the crown for added structure, and to hide the messiness.
You can see from this photo how I glued the scales — this sweatshirt is a 3T. I started at the bottom and worked my way up with the sweatshirt zipped closed. Take care not to glue over the zipper.
Same deal with the back, and voila!
You have yourself a little fishy. Happy Halloween!
Behold! The cutest little fishy on the face of the planet.
And his little fish bum too! Oh. My. Goodness. The glue-gun burns were a small price to pay.
Bryan was a sea captain.
And I was a jellyfish. I made my hat from a lampshade.
The joy buzzer was the best part of my costume.
The whole costume only cost me like $11. Before going out for the night I added tentacles and a sweater. Surprisingly, there were tons of jellyfish on the street, the best one being a girl who had affixed blacklights to the underside of a white umbrella. I practically genuflected in the street. Happy Halloween!