“I had a boyfriend once who told me that before he called me on the phone for the first time, he was really nervous and brushed his teeth. That made me like him for a lot longer than I would have otherwise.” -Sarah Brown

Bryan: We’d have to defend against Colma though.

Me: Yeah, but we’re a peninsula.

Bryan: So we’d just build a big zombie wall?

Me: Yeah.

Natalie: I feel pretty safe in the event of a zombie apocalypse because all my friends have guns.

Me: Zombies are already dead, Natalie. You can’t kill them with guns.

Natalie: Yeah you can, you shoot them in the head. I watched Zombieland.

Me: Huh.

Bryan: Point, Natalie.

Natalie: Anyway, I’ve decided that when the zombie apocalypse comes, I’m gonna be a vampire.

Me: Clever. I’ve not heard that take on it. Side with the less annoying undead.

Natalie: Yeah, a vampire could clearly defeat a zombie.

Me: Plus they dress better. And their limbs don’t fall off when they run.

“You are hardly alone. If your friends and family aren’t in your house, pointing out every hapless decision you’re making, there are hundreds of strangers on the sidewalk with placards who are more than willing to leap into the fray. And for those times when you are utterly alone, you always have us, dear reader! We may not actually be physically present, but we’re right here in this web site, laughing at you—but quietly, so you can’t hear. That’s how much we want you to perceive that we care.”

Congratulations, ladies! It’s high time we had somewhere we could panic as a community.

It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita

Heather is one of the hardest working people I know, so it’s hardly surprising that the book is already a success. In fact, she’s currently two spots below the President of the United States on the Amazon non-fiction rankings. Let’s see if we can do something to improve those numbers, shall we?

Somewhere in New York, there is a very pregnant woman jumping up and down on her hotel bed in her underwear. She may not be able to drink right now, but come June, there’s a case of Champagne with her name on it. In the meantime, the Internet can raise a glass in her honor.

You did it, girl.

Jerry Yoon photography took some great engagement photos. I love getting to see engagement photos, because they always make me look forward to the wedding.

See what I mean? Congrats, Meg and Rahul! Go here if you’d like to see the rest.