Hello there, 2016. You’re a big empty room with tall windows and a view of the water.
Let’s get some chairs and settle in. Resolved:
Eat in the bath.
A slice of rosemary lemon cake, olive oil popcorn, a bowl of spaghetti — before you bathe, make yourself a little snack. Everything tastes better when you’re naked. Tub eats! 2016.
Write and write and write and write.
It’s like talking, as much as you want, about whatever you want, but no one has to listen to you! Clickityclack! 2016
Be an activist.
So much dramatically bad cruft has been happening. Bluuuuuh. Broken jerks keep killing their wives and girlfriends; racist police are shooting black children; assholes with guns take aim in our schools, and movie theaters, and churches. Last year left me feeling weak. But I’m not helpless. I am strong and able, and I have been sitting on my dead ass eating tortilla chips. What the hell, me? Put on some pants. Change! 2016.
Have some tiny adventures.
Instead of doing that same thing, let’s do a different thing. Let’s go bake some tiny cakes, have a winter picnic and drink soup out of thermoses, turn off all the lights and light candles instead. This year, we’re gonna make some plans together, and those plans will be fun. Adventure! 2016.
Happy New Year, friends. Here’s to 2016, may good things rain gently upon your heads.
Do works about equality and social justice make you so sad and pissed off? It’s so hard to power through, and it’s all I can think about for weeks after. Still, this was worth reading. It’s always nice to have facts confirm your suspicions about weird elements of your life.
The best parts of Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit:
“Women’s liberation has often been portrayed as a movement intent on encroaching upon or taking power and privilege away from men, as though in some dismal zero-sum game, only one gender at a time could be free and powerful.”
“Credibility is a basic survival tool.”
“A woman is beaten every nine seconds in the country. Just to be clear: not nine minutes, but nine seconds. It’s the number one cause of injury to American women…”
“In 1990, the Journal of the American Medical Association reported, ‘studies of the Surgeon General’s office reveal that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of fifteen and forty-four, more common than automobile accidents, muggings, and cancer deaths combined.'”
“the confrontational confidence of the totally ignorant”
“Clearly the ready availability of guns is a huge problem in the United States, but despite this availability to everyone, murder is still a crime committed by men 90 percent of the time.”
“billions of women… being told that they are not reliable witnesses to their own lives”
Carbuncle a severe abscess or multiple boils in the skin, typically infected with staphylococcus bacteria.
Eve-teasing a euphemism used throughout South Asia for public sexual harassment or molestation (often known as “street harassment”) of women by men, where Eve alludes to the very first woman, according to the Biblical creation story.
antediluvian of or belonging to the time before the biblical Flood, or an idea that is ridiculously old fashioned.
Any other feminist works you’d recommend? I want an updated Backlash.
If you bought an Advent Grab Bag this year, thank you so much!
As you know, our plan was to donate 20 percent of the profit in hopes of providing two one-year scholarships for nurses training with IntraHealth International.
Thanks to you, we hit our goal and then some! In fact, we’re 20 percent over our goal, and we’re sending our donation to IntraHealth today. YEEEAAAH.
Thank you also for the notes, and Instagrams, and Facebooks about how much your love your kits. It makes us all smiley.
If you’d like to be notified via email when kits go on sale next year, you can sign up here. We won’t send you other stuff, just this:
I’m conflicted about this book, have you read it? Because let’s discuss.
The Clasp is the first book I’ve read by Sloane Crosley, and she has such a talent for observation and detail that I’m now going to read everything else she’s written. And I can’t wait.
That said, the momentum and my character investment waned so abruptly that I didn’t even bother to finish the last seventy-two pages. I was 300 pages in when all the air went out of my tires, so I just skimmed to the end. Wehhhhhhh.
Have you ever had sex with someone you’ve built up in your mind, and it’s electric at first, but then he does his thing and rolls over to sleep? This book was like that.
Still, that electric part though. My favorite parts of The Clasp:
“The groomsmen’s jackets had come off. The women had grown shorter over the course of the evening.”
“Inside, Meredith’s husband, Michael, was wearing mint-green drawstring pants and opening a bag of frozen shrimp with a corkscrew.”
“She hated Los Angeles as a concept, but she also hated it on a personal level… Kezia had been told, by people trying to befriend her, that she should inject stroke medication into her forehead, how many calories were in her meal, which stylist had dropped a bracelt down the toilet, how to minimize undereye bags, all leading a few drinks later, to stories of molesting uncles and first loves who had perished in car accidents. ‘Anyway, should we split the burrata?'”
“He had reflexively touched her when she offered to show him her pirouette, last performed when she was seven years old and executed with all the grace of a human that age. He caught her in his arms before she fell headlong into a bamboo chair. She did not scramble to remove her weight but stayed limp, as if he had dipped her. Women had used this tactic with him before. Generally it took the form of drunken cartwheels in his living room or hand slapping games he did not want to learn. He know what they were doing. They were aiming for charm but missing the mark; their actions seemed to say, ‘I have the carefree joy of a prepubescent girl. So please fuck me.'”
So you see what I mean about talent. There was more. You should really read the first half of this book, guys.
Raynaud’s phenomenon is excessively reduced blood flow in response to cold or emotional stress, causing discoloration of the fingers, toes, and occasionally other areas.
An alcove studio is the same as a studio apartment with an additional space off the living room.
slitchiness This was a weird one, I think she means the sound of voluminous women’s clothing in motion, but the only ref I could find for slitchy was as a slang term meaning bitchy or slutty.
solopsism (a word I should know by now) the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist
Okay! Have you read it or any of Crosley’s other stuff? Tell me your things.
P.S. If you’re on Goodreads, I am also on Goodreads. Nerd party!
The upside to buying gifts for women is that many of us hesitate before buying items we want, especially if we feel they are extravagant. We’re getting better at that, but in the meantime you can take advantage of our reserve.
All right. You have to know what you’re doing, we’re building a library here. Maybe she’s an Austen fan, but maybe she’s all about The Joy Luck Club, or Madame Bovary (lucky you). The point being, you’ll want to know what she reads before you commit her to the perfect hardcover copy. And if books are what she loves, unconditionally, the entire set of Penguin Drop Cap Classics is a modest $488. The Precious.
Creme de Corps body lotion, $18
Skip Bath & BodyWorks. If you want to get her something that makes her feel lovely, Kiehl’s is a solid choice. Unless she has a specific request, avoid products that prevent aging. That is not a gift, my friend, that is an insecurity egg waiting to hatch. Focus on simple products that make her skin soft, like their Kiehls Hydration Essentials kit, $29.
Cashmere Sweater, $198 (30 percent off with code shopnow)
Speaking of soft. What’s kinder than her favorite sweatshirt? This. This is a major sweatshirt upgrade. And if she already has the sweater, consider upgrading her sweatpants instead — cashmere sweatpants, $298. Glorious.
This is a happy bottle of champagne. If you’d prefer an ecstatic bottle of champagne, go 2003 Dom Perignon Champagne, $175.
Circle Studs, $84 These are a key update on the gold hoop, a pair of earrings she’ll never need to remove.
If the lady in question is a tea drinker, like me, Red Blossom offers very high quality teas. My favorite is the Tung Ting, Mi Xiang. Alternately, it’s pretty to watch the Organic Dragon Pearl Jasmine ($13) unfurl in hot water.
For whatever reason, it can seem silly to splurge on cute pajamas for yourself. Still, every woman needs a pair she can wear when she’s spending Christmas with your parents, or eating waffles at the vacation place you’re sharing with nine other couples.
Key Lime Pears, $23
Chocolate is a cliché for a reason. These are crispy, freeze-dried pears coated in dark chocolate and scented with lime. If you’re trying to marry her, consider the aptly named Faves Gift Box, $130.
Cowgirl Creamery Mt. Tam Triple Cream Brie Package, $40
Cheese is the gift that says, “Your ass continues to look amazing in those jeans.” This particular cheese is unctuous and coy. It will get you laid. And if you’d like to keep a good thing going, you can sign her up for a cheese club ($225-$695), or just opt for a more ample gift pack.