The upside to buying gifts for women is that many of us hesitate before buying items we want, especially if we feel they are extravagant. We’re getting better at that, but in the meantime you can take advantage of our reserve.
All right. You have to know what you’re doing, we’re building a library here. Maybe she’s an Austen fan, but maybe she’s all about The Joy Luck Club, or Madame Bovary (lucky you). The point being, you’ll want to know what she reads before you commit her to the perfect hardcover copy. And if books are what she loves, unconditionally, the entire set of Penguin Drop Cap Classics is a modest $488. The Precious.
Creme de Corps body lotion, $18
Skip Bath & BodyWorks. If you want to get her something that makes her feel lovely, Kiehl’s is a solid choice. Unless she has a specific request, avoid products that prevent aging. That is not a gift, my friend, that is an insecurity egg waiting to hatch. Focus on simple products that make her skin soft, like their Kiehls Hydration Essentials kit, $29.
Cashmere Sweater, $198 (30 percent off with code shopnow)
Speaking of soft. What’s kinder than her favorite sweatshirt? This. This is a major sweatshirt upgrade. And if she already has the sweater, consider upgrading her sweatpants instead — cashmere sweatpants, $298. Glorious.
This is a happy bottle of champagne. If you’d prefer an ecstatic bottle of champagne, go 2003 Dom Perignon Champagne, $175.
Circle Studs, $84 These are a key update on the gold hoop, a pair of earrings she’ll never need to remove.
If the lady in question is a tea drinker, like me, Red Blossom offers very high quality teas. My favorite is the Tung Ting, Mi Xiang. Alternately, it’s pretty to watch the Organic Dragon Pearl Jasmine ($13) unfurl in hot water.
For whatever reason, it can seem silly to splurge on cute pajamas for yourself. Still, every woman needs a pair she can wear when she’s spending Christmas with your parents, or eating waffles at the vacation place you’re sharing with nine other couples.
Key Lime Pears, $23
Chocolate is a cliché for a reason. These are crispy, freeze-dried pears coated in dark chocolate and scented with lime. If you’re trying to marry her, consider the aptly named Faves Gift Box, $130.
Cowgirl Creamery Mt. Tam Triple Cream Brie Package, $40
Cheese is the gift that says, “Your ass continues to look amazing in those jeans.” This particular cheese is unctuous and coy. It will get you laid. And if you’d like to keep a good thing going, you can sign her up for a cheese club ($225-$695), or just opt for a more ample gift pack.
Parenting thing! Putting this here because it was a bear for me to find baby stuff that does not contain Aloe Barbadensis.
Brad gets a severe, burning rash when his skin is exposed to Aloe, and it’s in almost everything you put on or near a baby’s skin. As of December 2015, these are the brands we use that currently do not contain Aloe. If you have some to add to this list, please let us know in comments.
Huggies Little Snugglers Diapers If you’re just realizing your kiddo might have a reaction to Aloe because rash creams are making things worse, and so forth, Huggies Little Movers also don’t contain Aloe.
Pampers Softcare Baby Fresh Wipes don’t currently contain Aloe. But! Their “Sensitive” wipes do. This is true of nearly all brands marked “sensitive” or “natural.”
Boudreaux’s Butt Paste has no Aloe, and it’s terrific.
Anyway, apparently it’s not a common allergy, but if your kid has a rash that won’t go away, even if you’re blow drying his or her bum between diaper changes, this might be something to try.
Last year I did 17 One-Click Stocking Stuffers for Kids, because I order most of Hank’s stocking stuff through Amazon. I’m done in 15 minutes, and most of it comes within a few days. Last year’s picks are still good, and here are a few more. They’re affiliate linked, but all stuff I’ve bought for my own kids at one time or another.
Lego Star Wars Minis, $6-$10
I’m not sure how many of the Star Wars Mini Lego Kits I bought, but I think all? Every last one? Something like that. My favorite is the AT-AT above, but I also dig the ARC-170 Starfighter, Vulture Droid, Homing Spider Droid, and the Republic Gunship. I could go on.
Flash Drive Creative Cassette Shape (White / 1-Pack), $12
I’ve never made Hank a mixtape before, which seems silly. I just made him one for our Christmas road trip, and I’m excited about it.
Fresh Baked Mini Gingerbread Men, 50 cents each
This guy makes delicious homemade gingerbread men and then ships them to you in plastic wrap bundles that look suspiciously like drugs. Super good cookies, but I’d unwrap them before you tuck them in the stocking.
Go Anywhere Light, $6
These are cool on hoodie and backpack zippers, and make your kid easier to see at night. Presumably when he or she is out burgling things.
Pippi Longstocking (Puffin Chalk), $8
I can’t believe I’ve never read this, so I ordered it and this edition is so cute. Perfect little floppy stocking book, or should I say Longstocking book? Bahaha.
Plus a couple of things for babies, because I’m shopping for one of those now too:
Stocking stuffers for grownups! Different than adult stocking stuffers, that is not what I mean. Don’t make the family watch you unwrap those.
Instax 2015 Frame Ornament, $8
An ornament built Instax mini film, so you can just slide the photo right in.
Beer Glass Letterpress Cards, $16
Birthday card, congratulations card, sympathy card? Bases covered.
Brass Geo-Stand Photo Holder, $22
Instant photo frame.
Color Me Good Coloring Book, $13
It’s silly, but the illustrations are really lovely. Soothing to color.
Stainless Steel Sharpie, $9
The sharpie that says you’re going places.
I sprained both my ankles, so I’ve been avoiding the Internet due to Vicodin. But I have been doing a lot of online shopping, guys. If you need stuff, I have seen allll of it in the last week, so let’s talk about that.
First, I use ornaments to commemorate fun stuff that happened the previous year. Some cute ones:
Pizza Ornament, $5
Ray Gun Ornament, $25
Evany is one of my favorite people, and she’s posting something new to read every day this month. There will be some good reading in there, and my favorite so far is her advice letter to her son Desi:
“5. Don’t rape people. This one may seem obvious, but it’s become increasingly apparent that for some reason, it totally isn’t. But the directions are pretty easy to follow on this one: No matter what someone’s wearing or not wearing, even if you’re both naked, even if you’ve already started, it’s still never too late to stop. If the other person says “no” or “stop” or “uh-uh,” then you just…stop. That’s all.”
My friend Laura has a son a little younger than Hank and a gift for choosing children’s books with sweet messages and lovely illustrations. So with this new baby in the mix, I asked for her list of books for our home library. Every one I’ve bought has been amazing, so I asked her to share her list with you here. Thanks, Laura!
I’ve been meaning to put this list together for way too long. Here is the abridged version. I left out the more obvious choices – like Richard Scarry, Dr. Seuss, and all the mythology/fairy tale books. Those are all necessary and lovely, but those just show up.
I think I have a kid’s book addiction, I love them so much.
Pemba Sherpa by Olga Cossi, Gary Bernard
Shadow by Suzy Lee
Who Will Comfort Toffle?: A Tale of Moomin Valley by Tove Jansson
In the Night Kitchen (Caldecott Collection) by Maurice Sendak
Flotsam (Caldecott Medal Book) by David Wiesner
The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes by Dubose Heyward
In the Town All Year ‘Round by Rotraut Susanne Berner
A Giraffe and a Half by Shel Silverstein
The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf
Little Pea, Little Hoot, Little Oink by Amy Krouse Rosenthal
My Friends by Taro Gomi
Gossie by Olivier Dunrea
Alphablock by Christopher Franceschelli
Hippopposites by Janik Coat
Wave by Suzy Lee
Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees
Adèle & Simon by Barbara McClintock
A Book of Sleep by Il Sung Na (Author)
Otis by Loren Long (Author, Illustrator)
You Are Stardust by Elin Kelsey (Author), Soyeon Kim (Illustrator)
A Balloon for Blunderbuss by Alistair Reid (Author), Bob Gill (Illustrator)
The Girl Who Loved the Wind by Jane Yolen (Author), Ed Young (Illustrator)
The Water Dragon: A Chinese Legend – English and Chinese bilingual text by Li Jian
Animus by Seonna Hong and Shenne Hahn
Around the World with Mouk by Marc Boutavant
Ballad by Blexbolex
Mr. Wuffles! by David Wiesner
Extra Yarn by Mac Barnett
I Know a Lot of Things by Ann Rand (Author), Paul Rand (Author, Illustrator)
House Held Up by Trees by Ted Kooser (Author), Jon Klassen (Illustrator)
The Funny Little Woman by Arlene Mosel (Author), Blair Lent (Author)
The Poems and Drawings of Shel Silverstein Box Set
The Lion & the Mouse by Jerry Pinkney
The Red Balloon by Albert Lamorisse
The Matchbox Diary by Paul Fleischman (Author), Bagram Ibatoulline (Illustrator)
Drawing from the City by Teju Behan
Ramayana: Divine Loophole by Sanjay Patel
A Street Through Time by Anne Millard and Steve Noon
Chi’s Sweet Home (11 Book Series) by Konami Kanata
Thanks again, Laura!