Image
Feb 11 2014

Up Yours, Valentine’s Day: A Gift Guide

No one is sending you flowers. No one is coming home with a heart-shaped box of chocolate. But screw it. You know where to get flowers, and you’ve been working out anyway. This Valentine’s Day, you’re taking care of your own damn self.


Hand-engraved F*** Off Heart Locket, $30

Finally, a piece of heart-shaped jewelry you can get behind.


Jersey Sweater Night Onesie, $65

For a short while you’ve got no one to impress but yourself. Let’s do this.


Smudge Trio, $12

What the hell. Couldn’t hurt.


“I’m surrounded by assholes.” French Mug, $12

You’re not alone. You’re particular.


I’m Fine T-Shirt, $22

What? The invitation said “wear red.”


Don’t Care Tote, $12

You’ve got your own stuff, man.


Key Bottle Opener, $12

Your key ring, and your soul, are so much lighter without the extra apartment key. Let’s make better use of that space. Cheers, Valentine.

I'm an ad.
Feb 6 2014

Van Damme, JT, and Daft Punk Valentine Printables

Designer Brad Ellis of Pacific Helm made some printable Valentines with me. By which I mean Brad did all the work and I said, “Put these funny words on it.” Teamwork! The PDFs are linked below, so you can print your Valentine last-minute when you suddenly realize you’re in love.

Jean Claude Van Damme Valentine PDF

Justin Timberlake Valentine PDF

Daft Punk Valentine PDF

You can see more of Brad’s illustrations right here. Thanks, mister!

I'm an ad.
Jan 29 2014

Valentine’s Day Gift Guide 2014

You’re in love! This calls for a commemorative mug.


Locket Pin or Tie Tack, $17
Wear it on your sleeve.


A DIY Love Card Deck
Read ‘em and weep.


Boom. You Just Got Loved Mug, $19
The mug that says, “I let you sleep in while I made you coffee.”


Stoneware Growler, $65
Have it filled by the local microbrewery, tie a red bow around the neck, and pop it in the fridge. Guess who’s getting laid.


Leather Camera Strap, $40
Camera strap or sex toy? You do you.


My Cape is in the Wash Shirt
Secret identity? Blown.


Message in a Bottle USB, $28
Load it with photos for an audience of one.


Hand Embroidered Japanese Notebook, $40
Man. Japan has a notebook for everything.

I'm an ad.
Jan 23 2014

Nerds in Love: 10 Valentines for Geeks

I'm an ad.
Jan 21 2014

Sailor’s Valentines are So Meticulous. Yum.

Do you know about Sailor’s Valentines? They’re hundreds of tiny seashells glued in attractive patterns meant to woo the ladies back at home. My OCD leanings are all a-tingle. Instead of making one, I made Sailor’s Valentine board on the Pinterest! Also satisfying.

When was the last time you spent a few hours in the company of tweezers and epoxy?

I'm an ad.
Dec 10 2013

Christmas Stockings

We need new Christmas stockings. I pinned some pretty options on a Christmas Stockings board. Still, I can’t shake the urge to run to the drug store, buy the red faux-fur ones I had as a kid, and write our names on them in glitter and Elmer’s Glue.

I'm an ad.
Dec 3 2013

Christmas Tree Alternatives


Wall Christmas Tree by All The Luck in the World

You don’t have room for a couch, let alone a tree.


Who made this? Was it you? Tell me in comments so the Internet can laude you.

Or maybe pine trees don’t exist in your country.

If you’re looking for options, I made a pinboard of festive Christmas Tree Alternatives. But won’t you miss that Christmas tree smell? Oh wait. Thanks, science.

If you like this post, you might also like:
My Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs
Ten Impeccable Holiday Cards

I'm an ad.