No one is sending you flowers. No one is coming home with a heart-shaped box of chocolate. But screw it. You know where to get flowers, and you’ve been working out anyway. This Valentine’s Day, you’re taking care of your own damn self.
Finally, a piece of heart-shaped jewelry you can get behind.
For a short while you’ve got no one to impress but yourself. Let’s do this.
What the hell. Couldn’t hurt.
You’re not alone. You’re particular.
What? The invitation said “wear red.”
You’ve got your own stuff, man.
Your key ring, and your soul, are so much lighter without the extra apartment key. Let’s make better use of that space. Cheers, Valentine.
Designer Brad Ellis of Pacific Helm made some printable Valentines with me. By which I mean Brad did all the work and I said, “Put these funny words on it.” Teamwork! The PDFs are linked below, so you can print your Valentine last-minute when you suddenly realize you’re in love.
You can see more of Brad’s illustrations right here. Thanks, mister!
You’re in love! This calls for a commemorative mug.
Locket Pin or Tie Tack, $17
Wear it on your sleeve.
A DIY Love Card Deck
Read ‘em and weep.
Boom. You Just Got Loved Mug, $19
The mug that says, “I let you sleep in while I made you coffee.”
Stoneware Growler, $65
Have it filled by the local microbrewery, tie a red bow around the neck, and pop it in the fridge. Guess who’s getting laid.
Leather Camera Strap, $40
Camera strap or sex toy? You do you.
My Cape is in the Wash Shirt
Secret identity? Blown.
Message in a Bottle USB, $28
Load it with photos for an audience of one.
Hand Embroidered Japanese Notebook, $40
Man. Japan has a notebook for everything.
Tell the Nerd you care. You how hard it is to find someone who gets all your jokes.
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Do you know about Sailor’s Valentines? They’re hundreds of tiny seashells glued in attractive patterns meant to woo the ladies back at home. My OCD leanings are all a-tingle. Instead of making one, I made Sailor’s Valentine board on the Pinterest! Also satisfying.
When was the last time you spent a few hours in the company of tweezers and epoxy?
We need new Christmas stockings. I pinned some pretty options on a Christmas Stockings board. Still, I can’t shake the urge to run to the drug store, buy the red faux-fur ones I had as a kid, and write our names on them in glitter and Elmer’s Glue.
Wall Christmas Tree by All The Luck in the World
You don’t have room for a couch, let alone a tree.
Or maybe pine trees don’t exist in your country.