My friend Michelle Morrison is an artist who specializes in what she calls “Nudie Judies.” I adore them. When she posted the one above, I joked that I wanted her to add a belly so I could say it was me pregnant.
Instead, she drew a pregnancy portrait just for me. I’m an official Nudie Judy!
I’m excited, and also so touched. Thank you, Michelle.
You’ll find more of Michelle’s work for purchase at her portfolio site Michelephant.com. I’m not sure if she takes commissions, but if you’d like to be a Judy too, it couldn’t hurt to ask.
Tokens of affection for your beloveds.
Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair, by Pablo Neruda, $12
The Cap of Courage, $58
Burroughs Beard Oil, $28
You’ll find more gift ideas on my Gift Guide | Valentine’s Day board.
Station Eleven is set in a post-epidemic landscape, with 99 percent of the population having been wiped out. My favorite part:
Toward the end of his second decade in the airport, Clark was thinking about how lucky he’d been. Not just the mere fact of survival, which was of course remarkable in and of itself, but to have seen one world end and another begin. And not just to have seen the remembered splendors of the former world, the space shuttles and the electrical grid and the amplified guitars, the computers that could be held in the palm of a hand and the high-speed trains between cities, but to have lived among those wonders for so long. To have dwelt in that spectacular world for fifty-one years of his life. Sometimes he lay awake in Concourse B of the Severn City Airport and thought, “I was there,” and the thought pierced him through with an admixture of sadness and exhilaration.
Reminds me of the Louis CK bit on cell phones and flying.
We’re so stressed. Should we just skip the Valentine’s crazy this year?
…Sure. Let’s stay in.
‘Esma’ Lace Slip, $140
Spiral Pantyhose, $14
Transparent Slip, $53
Maggie Pump, $130
Strapless Lace Mask, $30
Strapless Lace Bra, $12
More pretty chonies, including plus-sized cuteness, on my Gift Guide | Valentine’s Day board.
Brad is an app designer, and he’s very excited about it. One of our main topics of conversation is amazing apps I should be using so I can experience the future as it unfolds. Most recently, Google Translate had my jaw unhinged.
Holy crap, this is like living in an episode of Star Trek. The app supports 90 languages, though Cherokee is still in development. Obviously, you can just type and the app will give you a written translation on your phone, but it also does a couple things that made me tear up:
• It translates signs in real time for six languages. You hold your camera up to a sign, the translation appears on your phone. It looks like you’re just reading the actual sign, which is magical. You can also take a photo of the sign to translate it in 36 more languages.
• You can speak into the device, hit a button for what language you’d like to translate to, and the app speaks for you in the native language of whomever you happen to be addressing. What?! What.
It’s been around for a while, but the voice tool is new. If you haven’t already, go play with it. It would be incredible for letting babies hear a wide range of foreign accents while they can still encode the sounds and more complex language rules. Also fun when you’re tipsy. Here it is, Free for iphone and Android.
The future! Neat.
If you’re planning to grow human in your belly, here are some of the things I bought that were high-quality and reasonably priced. If you’re not, here is a comic strip that made me feel better about my brain.
Maternity Clothes I Recommend
Undies that don’t suck: 3-pack boy shorts from H&M, $15
Knit Faux Wrap Dress from Banana Republic Sexy and happens to work for nursing, so we’ll see if it lasts: $87
Grey Mama Treggings, on sale for $17
Red Batwing Sleeve Sweater that’s not technically maternity but big enough to push it, $27
Maternity Stretch Tanks, on sale $5-7
Two-pack maternity tights in grey and black, $17
This 2-Pack of Maternity Leggings are pretty thick. Some pilling after being worn near constantly for 7 months, but come on, $40
Maternity Wardrobe Tips
• Buy maternity clothes from the get go, do not wait until you can’t get your regular jeans up around your thighs. They’re crazy comfortable, and clothes that stretch make you feel healthy and pregnant as your body grows instead of just feeling fat and bummed. Also, my first pregnancy I thought I could just buy bigger clothes, and my sister said, “Your body is going to get weird. You’ll have to get maternity stuff in the third trimester, so just be comfortable all along.” She was right.
• Go for the full-belly panel on your pants. Those low elastic waistbands look good, but the last trimester when they start feeling really tight just as you don’t want anything touching your body. Also, your shirt rides up to reveal your naked belly, which is very vulnerable and yucky. Finally, when the baby gets big enough to have an opinion, they will vote by kicking you hard until you buy new pants that don’t smush them. Sorry, baby.
• Neutrals are the most economical. I buy dark grey when I can and black when I can’t. Everything works together and doesn’t clash with pieces that still work from my normal-body wardrobe. I bought a couple accent pieces in red, but mostly rely on colorful accessories.
• Don’t worry so much about whether you’ll be able to wear it after. With my first pregnancy, I obsessed over finding nursing/maternity clothes that looked passable as regular clothes. After I gave birth I was so sick of those clothes. They were mostly worn out — all stretched out and pilly — and people kept asking when I was due, probably because I was wearing maternity clothes? Yeah. So this time I bought very little, I’m wearing it into the ground, and tossing it or passing it on when I give birth. The exception is bras and nightgowns. Buy nursing versions so you can nurse right away.
• Coats are an exception. Maternity coats are expensive, so I buy vintage and try to find something I’ll wear until I have time to reassemble my body. Search “cape coat” and “swing coat” on eBay for maternity coats that will transition into your regular wardrobe, like so: Grey Wool Cape Coat.
Maternity Wardrobe Starters for Warmer Climates
A quick list of maternity basics. This will vary by lifestyle and season, but it’s a great base that lets you purchase a few necessary pieces as you realize you need them.
• Knit dresses in neutral colors (2) – High-quality thick jersey that doesn’t thin out too much as it stretches, preferably with hemlines that fall below the knee. That hemline will pull up as your belly grows and lots of ladies get temporary cellulite down to the knee before they give birth.
• Maternity tights in neutrals that work with your dresses (2)
• Maternity leggings or sweats (2)
• Camis with shelf bras (2) – These will transition you to a new bra size, and the support will help you sleep.
• A sundress that works for nursing to be worn as a nightgown – Maternity sleepwear is stupid expensive and it’s usually not as good quality as just buying an Old Navy sundress or equivalent.
• T-Shirts (2 short sleeved, 2 long)
• Undies a size or two up (6 pairs)
• A Hoodie – H&M has lots of long ones right now that aren’t a million dollars. Maternity hoodies can be laughably pricey.
• A Sweater – Bonus if it’s a cardigan because you can wear it multiple ways.
• A coat or cloak
• A pair of flats
If you’ve been through this or are pregnant now, please add your tips and links to good deals in comments. Thanks, mamas.