Friend emerges from my bathroom with an observation:
F: Why does your hand soap look like cum?
Me: First of all, that is facial cleanser. Secondly, sperm is supposed to be really good for your skin.
Cetaphil, by chance? That stuff totally looks like cum. Over the years, I have coaxed several boy friends away from using soap on their faces and turned them onto Cetaphil. I wait for them to decide they love it and admit that it’s WAY better than using soap (they always admit it, eventually). And then one day when they’re mid-facewash, I casually mention that it looks like they’re smearing cum on their faces. And then I stand back and giggle as their confusion turns to recognition turns to disgust and, finally, turns to acceptance. Because I am evil? Perhaps. But it IS way better than soap, and I figure it’s okay to be evil so long as you’re simultaneously doing someone a favor, amiright?
Ah yes, Cetaphil. There’s always a moment when I’m washing my face and catch a glimpse of myself rubbing it over my face and I think, “You know, I bet I could make good money on the internet with this.”
Oh my god, I inadvertently told my mom and my uncle that I had recently lost my virginity in a very similar but way more awkward exchange.
I knew it was Cetaphil, too :) It’s also a great makeup remover! Use it a lot.