Things of which I have been afraid in the last few days:

• Water filling my snorkel mask, and I drown.
• Water somehow getting into my air tank, and then I drown.
• Old-timey sailor sea-zombies pulling me to a watery grave.
• I resurface too quickly and my lungs explode like a pair of mating puffer fish on a line.
• Sharks.

Awestruck moments in the last few days:

• I can breathe underwater.
• Everything is so blue.
• CHOOO-KAAAHH… CHOOO-KAAHH… This is what Darth Vader sounds like when he breathes under the motherf***ing water.
• This is just like a flying dream.
• I am a bionic turbo-mutant (half woman! half machine!) who defies the laws of physics with my awesome breathing powers!!
• No one can reach me by phone.

So far, I’ve only practiced in the pool, but right now I’m on a flight to St. Lucia where I’m getting my Open Water Dive Certification for my birthday. I decided to get certified and take the trip about seven days ago, when a girlfriend said, “Do you want to go diving with me in St. Lucia?” And then I said, “Yes.”

For the record, I am also afraid of zombie sharks.

Congratulations to Jeannie! She wants to, “Have a studio of my own, with good light, and a door.”

Jeannie, you’re officially a person who wins things. Congratulations! Look for an email from me in your inbox.

And now a few more of my favorites from your Life List comments:

Heather: “Learn how to make my own undies. Really.”
Cassie: “I want to create a book of all my go-to recipes to pass along to my daughter when she leaves for college.”
Amy: “Defy the odds and walk again.”
JJZach: “Help save a farm.”
Sarah: “I’m removing the word “hate” from my vocabulary.”

Here’s to that. And then there’s Jen’s recounting of an item accomplished:

“My entire life, I’ve been promising myself I’d to go Holland and see the places my grandparents grew up. I finally did it, and took my baby boy along. My grandmother cried when she saw pictures of her great grandson in front of the house she was born in.”

Good job, team. Thanks to everyone who entered.

This is my awesome friend Kelly Wilkinson. You may remember her from such adventures as Help Me Jump My Stupid Car and I’m Thirsty!

Most friends call to see if you want to grab a beer. Wilkes usually suggests a picnic on a film set:

Or an ill-fated smokey eye class:

In other words, she’s fun. Not enough of that going around these days.

I’m telling you all this because Kelly has been working on a book forever, and it’s finally here! It’s called Weekend Handmade, and it’s about craft projects you can finish in an afternoon.

As part of her online book tour, she’s writing up her favorite things to do for each day of the week. You can see them all right here, but Kelly has a particular talent for lazy weekend entertaining. It’s so nice to hang out with her and her husband Mike because it never feels like anyone is rushing around frantically. Here’s how she manages a perfect Saturday evening with friends:

Hi everyone! I’m thrilled to be here with Maggie as part of my blog tour for Weekend Handmade. Who doesn’t want to spend Saturday night with Maggie? Let’s all go to her place this weekend.

My ideal Saturday is some time outside, and then company and cocktails in the evening. We like to host casual dinner parties — no reservations or cabs, and you control the guest list.

Over the years, my husband Mike and I have scaled back our ambition on the food offerings. Especially in the fall and winter, a simple, slow-cooked pork shoulder or stew is just the ticket because you can shove it in early in the day, ignore it, and then, presto-chango, it’s ready that night and your whole house smells rich and warm.

During the week, our dining room table usually hosts my mess of craft supplies and projects, so I like to treat it right on the night of a dinner party, with a runner and placemats I made, and our collection of mismatched plates. Add food, candles, friends and cocktails, and nothing can go wrong. Or if it does, who cares? Pour another glass of wine.

Weekend Handmade by Kelly Wilkinson offers more than 40 projects and ideas for inspired crafting. Photographs by Thayer Allyson Gowdy. Find the complete blog tour at Kelly’s blog Make Grow Gather, or STC Craft’s site.

Hey girl.

If a Clown by Stephen Dunn

If a clown came out of the woods,
a standard-looking clown with oversized
polka-dot clothes, floppy shoes,
a red, bulbous nose, and you saw him
on the edge of your property,
there’d be nothing funny about that,
would there? A bear might be preferable,
especially if black and berry-driven.
And if this clown began waving his hands
with those big white gloves
that clowns wear, and you realized
he wanted your attention, had something
apparently urgent to tell you,
would you pivot and run from him,
or stay put, as my friend did, who seemed
to understand here was a clown
who didn’t know where he was,
a clown without a context?
What could be sadder, my friend thought,
than a clown in need of a context?
If then the clown said to you
that he was on his way to a kid’s
birthday party, his car had broken down,
and he needed a ride, would you give
him one? Or would the connection
between the comic and the appalling,
as it pertained to clowns, be suddenly so clear
that you’d be paralyzed by it?
And if you were the clown, and my friend
hesitated, as he did, would you make
a sad face, and with an enormous finger
wipe away an imaginary tear? How far
would you trust your art? I can tell you
it worked. Most of the guests had gone
when my friend and the clown drove up,
and the family was angry. But the clown
twisted a balloon into the shape of a bird
and gave it to the kid, who smiled,
let it rise to the ceiling. If you were the kid,
the birthday boy, what from then on
would be your relationship with disappointment?
With joy? Whom would you blame or extoll?

(Sometimes, good stuff still comes via email. Thanks, Rosecrans.)