Mighty Life List
Apr 16 2010

Cab Ride, 1 a.m.

Conversations my cab driver had last night:

With a red light:

“Whoa. WHOOOOOOOoooooa!”

With me:

“HOLD ON!… (Brakes aggressively.) Sorry about that.”

With his cell phone:

“OK. What time are you getting off? OK. What time are you getting off? OKOKOKOKOKOK. Man, what time are you getting off?

With me:

Him: Why are cell phones so useless for the simple exchange of information? You can’t get any information from them. Did you hear how many times I had to ask that guy what time he was getting off? It was like talking to a goddamn girlfriend…

Me:…

Him: Not to insult women or anything.

Me: Right. Except for how you were insulting women there.

Him: Nononononono. Most women are fine Except for the ones unfortunate enough to have dated me…

Me: …

Him: Women are great, most women are perfectly great. Except for the ones I’ve dated. Especially that one goddamn bitch who I dated in 1982…

Me: …

Him: Most women are fine. I mean. But not that one chick. She broke my heart. And here I am still pining for her…

Me: …

Him: Thirty years later, here I am still pining for that bitch.

Me: You can drop me here, thanks.

9 Responses to “Cab Ride, 1 a.m.”

  • Stephanie Says:

    Definitely the smartest way to end that conversation.

  • Katie Says:

    WOW. Classy!

  • Karen from Chookooloonks Says:

    Dude, were you in Dayton? Because that is the EXACT conversation I had with the driver I had to the airport this morning.

    Except he punctuated his with his desire to “act like his dad, push his mother down, and tell her she’s DESPERATE and she’s STUPID.

    I was seriously considering tucking and rolling out of the moving car.

  • Tasha Haley Says:

    Oh boy…I hope that women he’s pining for doesn’t come across his cab one day.

  • erika edith Says:

    I love that you called him out on it – he probably went on to complain to the next fare about this WOMAN customer who didn’t care about his wanna be love life ;)

  • katie Says:

    i caught a 4:30 am cab to SFO on the 16th…i swear we had the same cab driver. he is still pining for her, by the way.

  • curlystraight Says:

    This (one-sided) conversation leaves me feeling icky.

  • e Says:

    “Him: Nononononono. Most women are fine Except for the ones unfortunate enough to have dated me…”

    You: Hmm. Seems that the problem is most likely to be YOU, then, isn’t it? Not them.

    Him: … I’ll just drop you here, thanks.

  • tüp bebek Says:

    Oh boy…I hope that women he’s pining for doesn’t come across his cab one day.