114. Sassafras Mama
Congratulations! It’s fun to win things. I’ll send you a note shortly with info on how to get your book.
Dear Greek Yogurt,
You smell great. Have I told you that? Man, you smell great. Whoa. I think I might still be a little tipsy from last night.
Anyway, let’s be straight. It’s not like the girls haven’t told me about you. I mean, you’ve been around, and I’m not an idiot. The bass player, the bartender, the Greek Yogurt, your exploits have become cliché.
So let’s not pretend here, Greek Yogurt. I know you’re all about waking up with a girl every morning (as long as she’s in Greece), and then dropping off the face of the earth the minute her plane lands back home. And whatever, it’s none of my business. I’m on vacation, and here you are.
And here I am.
Why don’t you throw an arm around me, and we’ll hit the beach? You are so soft. Seriously, what is that? It’s unreal.
For those of us who still leave our laptops in the care of strangers at the coffee shop when we need to use the restroom, my most recent WePC post is a roundup of anti-theft devices for your computer.
My favorite is inexpensive homing software that lets you disable a stolen computer remotely until the police can track it down. There’s also a pricey electric briefcase that envoltifies would-be thieves, but I’m pretty sure your name ends up on some government list if you buy one. Sort of like checking out Mein Kampf at the library, or muttering under your breath about Dick Cheney.
Who I’ve heard is a very nice man, by the way.
This was just after a six year old copped a feel of Aubrey’s bum and then raced through the crowd. To her credit, Aubrey just let out a startled, “HUH!” and kept right on walking, as the men on the street roared. In retrospect, we think the kid might have been part of a pick-pocket distraction technique, though no pockets were picked. Such is the upside of traveling with an unflappable Southern girl.
Shortly afterward, we got caught in a sea of fourteen year olds, who swept us up a hillside in their wake. When we got our wits about us, Aubrey said, “I believe we’ve just accidentally found the church parking lot where teenagers go to makeout.” We refrained from making out with any teenagers.
Other small differences between here and home:
-The bathrooms have single use toothbrushes with toothpaste already on.
-Cats on the street sit under your table and meow for supper.
-At 11 p.m. on a Tuesday night, everyone is still gathered on the square.
-If you accidentally make eye contact with a man on the street, he takes you very, very seriously.
Laura. Get your bum over here. There’s a six year old we want you to meet.
I’m still working my way through everyone’s music-driven movie scenes, surprisingly good and varied thread. These are Traci’s favorites:
Traci, your pop rocks are on the way. Please do not consume them with soda, as we all remember what happened to Mikey.