First, the crucial beverage differences:

• On the whole, pre-packaged beverage servings are much smaller — serving-size cans of juice are only about 4 oz. The photo above is of big juice cans. I love that label design.
• Related: you can get tiny Coronas called “Coronitas.” They are adorable.
• Stores sell milk in juice box packaging. Which wouldn’t be that unusual I guess, but they’re everywhere.
• A “fruit punch” is likely to be made up of actual tropical juices, even if you buy it in a can. This makes rum punch dangerously easy to mix, even if you have no business mixing yet another rum punch, Maggie.
• Melissa orders a beer. The waitress just pops the top of the can and sets it down in front of her. I’m amazed by this. I’ve been living in a big city too long.

Non-liquid differences::

• That burrito? It’s full of hummus. Melissa ordered it knowingly, despite vigorous head shaking on my part.
• Cars drive by open-air restaurants blaring advertising out of speakers on top.
• Our airplane ticket for the ride back to Old San Juan was handwritten.
• There are iguanas crawling through the grass on the side of the road.

• I took this photo from the car. Wild horses are everywhere in Vieques, often standing in the road.
• Little lizards are everywhere too. Like on the wall behind my pillow. Where I sleep at night.
• People grow cacti in long rows to use as fences for small livestock.
• Had I not made a When Harry Met Sally point of it, my nachos would have come with corn on them.

• The pool at our hotel wasn’t chlorinated, so swimming was like taking a bath.
• Bats swooped over the pool at night to eat insects off the surface. This made Melissa nervous at first, but I assured her that they could see us, and wouldn’t come near us. On our last night we lingered too long in the pool, and the bats got frustrated. So one dive-bombed my face. It came inches from my mouth, and I could hear the leathery wing flaps, and feel the leathery wing air.

*Intel is giving me more to write about by sponsoring my Mighty Life List over the next few months. They paid for my trip to Puerto Rico, so they’re indirectly responsible for any bat flashbacks I may have for the next several months.

If I’m on my period and have a genuine chocolate craving, it makes me feel a little stupid, like my life has been reduced to a Cathy cartoon. Also, I’m typing this in a swimsuit while I stand in front of a department store mirror with a plate of spaghetti in one hand and a bottle of Hershey’s syrup in the other.

This is a starfruit.

The flavor is light, more like a perfume than a solid taste. They’re juicy, citrusy with a slightly tangy aftertaste. The texture is like less crunchy celery, if celery didn’t have strings.

Taste 1,000 Fruits is on my Mighty Life List, so Intel paid for my starfruit. Thanks, guys.

1. Fashion Tips for Women From a Guy Who Knows Dick About Fashion (*Per commenter request, adding a warning to this link. This guy is a mouth breather, who I found fascinating, not authoritative. Carry on.)

2. July 10 My favorite outfit so far this summer from The Uniform Project. (Though June 25 and June 20 were both contenders.)

3. The pregnant lady’s Rubber Band Trick courtesy of Rare Device’s Rena Tom.

These are some of my favorite photos from our trip, but you can see all my snapshots here and here.

So as not to be sleazy, this is the part where I remind you that Intel paid for my trip. They’re sponsoring my Mighty Life List over the next few months. So this post is technically part of a very smart marketing campaign. Shield your eyes!