Comments on: Momversation: Teaching Kids Independence

By: amy

amy — Mon, 04 May 2009 05:28:32 +0000

Just rereading comments and I insisted on ‘helping’ with the teeth brushing till I could see they had it somewhat mastered. I think the most important thing is to be there morning and night supervising, making it somewhat fun and guiding when needed. Child is young? Suggest and have parent do a quick brush when child is done. Keep it fun, lighthearted and usually ok..

By: amy

amy — Mon, 04 May 2009 05:22:38 +0000

Wow… feeling a bit neglectful at this moment! Yes, my kids (twin girls 11 and son, 16, are very independent with homework, dressing, telling me when they need haircuts (usually after I have suggested it a few times) and in general being very independent and responsible for their ages (yay me!). One problem I do have is that the only chores they have are MINIMAL.

Their teachers rave to me how responsible they all are, how far they go, how they give their all! At home? Not so much. Son unloads the dishwasher 1x a day and girls are responsible for either setting or clearing the dinner table. All responsible for keeping their rooms clean (rarely) and putting their clean clothes away.

When I think of all the housework I DO that they could be helping me with I am to be honest rather sickened. I was never taught how to do laundry, cook, clean a bathroom or ANY room other than my own (weekly). And you know what? I regret I was not taught earlier.

An eye opener, thank you. The kids helping out more at home will BENEFIT them in the future, and me now! But really. When I left home at 19 I knew how to do next to nothing as far as living skills went. Not sure I want to do that to my kids. (Although the girls do enjoy helping me prepare dinner, bonus! I moved out not knowing how to boil an egg!)

We can all apparently encourage and assist when it comes to independence for our children.

By: Jane

Jane — Sun, 03 May 2009 19:28:51 +0000

Could be a good topic but the earrings are distracting me too much.

By: G'licious

G'licious — Sun, 03 May 2009 02:59:15 +0000

I’m sorry, I have to say if I see Dana from Mamalogues on these, I won’t even watch. What is she always so angry about? She’s got a real chip on her shoulder and I don’t need parenting advice from her. I wish Momversation had more diversity of people in their “versations.”

By: Jess

Jess — Sat, 02 May 2009 16:21:58 +0000

A comment on the allowance issue:
When I was growing up my parents gave each of us a weekly allowance from our 4th b-day until our 14th (when we could get real jobs). The rules were that 10% had to be given away (as an animal lover I usually gave my to the humane society), 20% saved for college, 20% saved for a short-term goal (new toy, etc.), and the rest could be spent on immediate gratification. It was not connected to chores because my dad believed that if you are part of a family you contribute to the family work and are provided for from the family funds. This system not only taught me kick ass math skills, but I also learned to handle money wisely and be generous. I will surely do the same for my son when he is old enough.

By: sabrina

sabrina — Sat, 02 May 2009 13:54:51 +0000

Ukh. Please brush your child’s teeth even if he yells and screams. You know why? I’ll tell you why. I don’t have kids but my cousins went on that trip with their 2yo boy where they wanted to show him things and let him do stuff on his own. He was their second baby, and with the fist one they did everyone for her, so maybe they were trying to mend their ways, but HIS TEETH TURNED GRAY. It was so nasty. And he is soooooo cute but when he laughed I’d be all, “Eww, don’t smile because you’re cuter when I can’t see your gray teeth.” Now let me tell you why having gray teeth is worse than having black teeth or yellow teeth —
BECAUSE IT JUST IT.
Dirty people have black teeth. People who don’t care have yellow teeth. But people who could be diseased or have the beginnings of bottle rot and coming in with the grays.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m huge on childhood independence. My parents had a rule in our house where my sister and I had to make our beds every single morning before we even came downstairs — and I was like 5. But I just think there are times when you have to let that motherly instinct kick in and say, “No child of mine will ever have gray teeth.”

Oh, btw, one of my best girlfriends just gifted me your book — it was one of those just-because gifts and I started flipping through it last night:)

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Sat, 02 May 2009 04:14:47 +0000

I’m the same way when it comes to my son’s teeth brushing skills. If I left my son to his own devices he would just suck the toothpaste right off the brush. So I told him that I need to start or finish the job. He gets to choose which one it’s going to be. He’s getting better now! I think it’s just because he’s really adamant in doing it himself.

By: Maggeh

Maggeh — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:54:15 +0000

Hi Abigail, I got it in Italy. In fact, those necklaces (in several different colors) were my bridesmaid gifts.

By: Maureen

Maureen — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:03:48 +0000

My son’s dentist says the parents should brush the kid’s teeth until they’re in grade three because of lack of fine motor coordination. So we also did the “You start, we’ll finish” thing. It also helped that the dentist told our son this directly.

By: Abigail

Abigail — Fri, 01 May 2009 02:22:35 +0000

Maggie, please tell me where I can get that necklace. It’s like jelly beans!