Categories 
Mar
30
2009
Comedic Ass Sniffing
Am I a stupid person? I’m not a stupid person. I read all the books you’re supposed to read, I keep abreast of current events, I can find my home state on a map. So if I admit you’re smarter than me, will you do something for me?
Please limit yourself to one joke per evening that forces half the group to go heads down on their iPhones in feverish Wikipedia searches, while the rest of us pretend to laugh uproariously in feigned recognition of your obscure reference point.
Okay, thanks.
Hey!! You know my mother-in-law?!?!
No, she clearly knows my sister’s in-laws.
Jerks.
I learned a great new term this weekend: iHole! It’s a person who aims to prove you wrong in an argument by Googling on their iPhone the answer to whatever debate you’re currently embroiled in. And then WAVING IT IN YOUR FACE.
The person who constantly makes obscure references in a bid to ensure that you know they’re smarter than you, though? Well, that person is just an old-fashioned asshole.
ick people who make obscure reference jokes are just sad…
Hahaha! That reminds me of that one time King Leoppold disrupted that dinner party with the Earl of Sandwich. Wait, too obscure?
I used to use this to weed out dumb men when I was at the pub. And maybe after I told the joke, they weeded me…
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says “I’m sorry we don’t allow your kind in here.” The mushroom says “Why not? I’m a fun guy!”
Um yeah sorry about that. I forget that the random stuff that pops in to my head isn’t supposed to come out my mouth.
@Yolanda: That joke is just crumby.
Sandwich…. crumb…. never mind.
how are you watching Dennis Miller’s stand up act in the middle of the day?
Hee… she said iHole..!
So, a etymologist, an entomologist, Noam Chomsky, and The Beatles go into a bar…
But seriously, folks.
Here’s one I’ve occasionally had to explain (which, of course, makes it EXTREMELY funny at the wrong parties):
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Philip Glass.
This person gets around.
But! But! But what if one person gets the joke, and to those two people it’s like the sweetest moment of joke-communion ever?
Let’s face it. We all want to feel smart. Some of us want to feel Jean Smart, but I was always more of a Dixie Carter man.
I do not have sufficient intellect to respond to this request. However, I’m truly enjoying the responses!
@ Jasph: Ha!
Hahaha.
A fish, swimming bumps into a concrete wall…
Damn.
Whaddya call a broken boomerang? A stick.
Now these are funny. Ha
OGOD I hate people who feel the need to throw out random, obscure references to things, esp. inside jokes. Inside jokes are about the snobbiest thing on this planet.
When I was still a poet we called poets that did that the “titterers” because they all quietly laughed at amusing obscure references that made poems totally inaccessible to the average joe. Hence why the average joe totally fucking hates poetry.
Hmmmm, I must admit that I really like obscure references; but obscure-dorky, rather than obscure-snobby-mcsnobberson.
I always thought I was just stupid
Now, *I* KNOW that I am.
iHoles! Ha.
In defense of some of “us” blithering pillocks who sometimes make seemingly overly obtuse references which make people cringe in disgust at our posey laden poetry. I have this to say. All writers have a “voice”. Unfortunately, some of us have an antiquated edwardian headmaster screaming arcane verbiage over our frayed synapses. Sometimes, these references surprise myself… a bit of automatic writing perhaps? Which causes me also to look for the hidden subterranean clues. The question is how to edit the “inner” voice with the “outer” voice? Perhaps then we can produce poetry for the Joe’s of this world. It would be fuck’in brilliant!
Wow! Am I that “stupid?” Incubator Jones, can you explain that to me in layman’s terms. Oh, nevermind, while it’s taking a while to sink in, it sure was interesting to read! Oh, and I’m not stupid. I think just finding this blog is smart enough for today
I know what you mean, but I guess I must be an asshole because I enjoy making “obscure” references, if by “obscure” you mean references to the Simpsons.
I tell this joke to screen potential dates. They either get it or they don’t.
“A chick walks into a bar and orders a double entendre, and the bartender gives it to her.
A lot goes into the delivery.
I FORGOT MY END QUOTE IN THE CONFUSION OF HTML TAGS PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT ME.
Oh dear, I am married to an iHole.