For Bryan’s fortieth birthday, I gave him forty presents.
I lost a few days to wrapping, but it was worth it.
In case you want context:
Day 3 Report: Skipping breakfast before my workout is an error. I read a scientific study that proves you can get some of the benefits of exercise by simply imagining you’re exercising. I adopt this plan. I lay there, panting, and imagine working out for about half the routine. “These sit ups in my head are so taxing! My psychological form on these pikes is unbelievable!”
I’m not even sore the next day. Screw you, Science.
Day 4 Report: Huh. I can sort of manage a crippling Pilates position, which I had previously believed Tracy Anderson was achieving through CGI. I no longer feel angry at Tracy Anderson herself, just specific parts of her body — specifically her abs and upper arms.
Day 5 Report: I get through the first section without keening or modifying the exercises to suit the needs of an 80 year old woman who has just given birth.
Day 6 Report: If I ignore the searing pain, I am able to lay on the floor, and lift my legs at a right angle to my body while reaching to the ceiling to touch my toes. I do this more than once. I am increasingly angry at Tracy Anderson’s abs and upper arms.
This project was supposed to take ten days. On some level, I suppose it will, but there has been guilt.
I’m working out twice a week more than I was.
Without changing my diet at all, I’ve lost two pounds. I love you, buttered bread and red wine.
My stomach is visibly more muscular.
I am no longer mortified to be on my hands and knees whimpering while my husband checks his email at the desk next to me.
When I was in labor with Hank, I asked for a printout of his heartbeat, so I could have it engraved on a ring later (much like the Pulse Ring I listed on Mighty Goods a few years ago). Design incorporating sound is everywhere lately. Here’s a few more examples.
-The Sound Advice Project (on Mighty Goods) makes a bracelet from your voice recording.
–Sakurako Shimizu’s Waveform Series makes rings, brooches, bracelets, cufflinks and more by cutting sound-wave replicas out of metal.
–Sounds Butter Interactive Design did a prototype of a sewing machine that represents sound waves through stitch pattern. (Pretty sure I’ve linked to that before)
-The Sonic Waves typeface (pictured above) let’s you “play” a phrase or message. Click through for a quicktime demo.
Am I a stupid person? I’m not a stupid person. I read all the books you’re supposed to read, I keep abreast of current events, I can find my home state on a map. So if I admit you’re smarter than me, will you do something for me?
Please limit yourself to one joke per evening that forces half the group to go heads down on their iPhones in feverish Wikipedia searches, while the rest of us pretend to laugh uproariously in feigned recognition of your obscure reference point.
Happy 40th birthday, Bryan! A few of the reasons I adore you:
1. On our first trip to Argentina, you were excited about my suggestion that we spend two hours a day of our vacation in private tango lessons.
2. When I’m upset, you infuriate me by cracking jokes until I laugh.
3. You took me on a road trip with our 5-week old baby.
4. You have a steel-plated backbone.
5. On one of our first dates, you took me on a surprise kayak camping trip. You packed candles and a tablecloth.
6. You make a mean chili.
7. You cried over our vows.
8. If it’s important, and you say you’ll do it, you do it.
9. When someone handed you the microphone unexpectedly at one of Hillary Clinton’s rallies, you introduced a stage full of political bigwigs, one by one, without a list of their names.
10. You’re humble about your smarts.
11. It takes you about an hour to wrap a present so it meets your standards.
12. You’re a fighter.
13. Your resume is so absurd, it reads like fiction.
14. You’re helpful.
15. You taught me to respect bourbon.
16. You look incredible in a suit. Or a white cotton undershirt.
17. You’d be just as comfortable chatting with a Nobel Laureate or the drunkest guy at the dive bar.
18. You have more energy than anyone.
19. You can’t wait for the new episode of Dancing with the Stars.
20. You’re one of the kindest people I know.
21. When you’re phone rings, and the caller ID reads unknown, you assume it’s the Secret Service because it almost always is.
22. You like to help.
23. Once you’re in the shower, there’s no telling when I’ll see you again.
24. You have a lovely voice.
25. You married our friends in English, German, and Chinese.
26. You always smell good.
27. You take me seriously when I ask you how my makeup looks.
28. You love to celebrate.
29. You drink the water, eat at roadside stands, sample charcuterie in a village with 12 houses, and you never get sick.
30. You make things go.
31. When you arrive at the bar, you’re there to close it.
32. You are snuggly.
33. When you dip me, I know you won’t drop me.
34. You like to make things.
35. You’re an optimist.
36. I have never had to ask you to do the dishes.
37. You love to swim.
38. When I asked you to stop pointing out coiffed and professionally lit ex-girlfriends while we were watching TV, you did.
39. You can’t stay mad.
40. If our little boy grows up to be exactly like you, I’ll be proud.
I love Easter, and I had a lot of fun doing these this year. There’s a vase from Urban Outfitters that’s modeled on those bird water whistles we had as kids. At first I thought it was just a ceramic water whistle, and I was so excited. Then I was surprised that no one makes those yet. How cute would that be worn as a necklace? Get on it, Etsy.
In the meantime, go have a look at my picks for your baskets.