Comments on: Should I Have Another Kid?

By: kim

kim — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:52:47 +0000

this is pretty simple for me. I know, no matter what that i have a person out there that is my family more so than any other member of my family. he is a part of me that is somewhere else. it could be argued that some ppl never get along with their sibling(s) even into adulthood, but i think the chance that you have that good relationship far out weighs the risk of that bad relationship.

By: lorrie

lorrie — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:38:20 +0000

For me, it was never an option to stop at one. Having added an Asian child to our white family, I felt it only fair that she have another Asian face to look at.

My mom is dying a slow and torturous death from Alzheimer’s. Without the support of my sister and the family memories that only she shares, I would be bereft.

By: latenac

latenac — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:35:43 +0000

We stopped at one. We always thought we’d have 2 but we like our little family the way it is. We like double teaming rather than man to man or zone defense.

I really hate it when people claim she’ll be lonely or what happens when we die and she has no siblings. Well my fil had a younger brother who died 6 months before his father did so he had to go through the deaths of his parents “by himself”. My aunt refuses to admit her parents were/are sick in need of help so my mother has/is going through her parents’ ends “by herself”.

You have to decide what is right for your family and for the sake of any future children try not to feel that you need to have more so you have playmates for your first or so you have an extra person to take care of you in your old age. I’m sure when people tell me that it’s not really what they mean but it always ends up sounding like you need extra kids like spare tires or something. But at least it’s not worse than my MIL’s comment that my sil has more of a family now that she has 2 children.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 18:47:28 +0000

I have a 4.5 year old miracle. I got pregnant with her pretty easily and carried her until the doctor took her out. A year or so later, we tried to have another with lack of success. Fast forward 3.5 years and three failed infertility treatments and you have us with our beautiful only child. With my perspective as someone who would love to have another child but who is confined to only having one, I am so grateful that we have her. The idea that we are missing out on something still hasn’t left us, and if you feel that way, maybe you should have another kid. Just remember, just because you make the decision to have another kid, doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen. I hate to put that out there, but someone needs to be realistic.

By: Steph

Steph — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:58:37 +0000

I’m 39 and I was totally, TOTALLY okay with Luke, my three-year-old, being an only child. And then I accidentally got pregnant. (We’d struggled and struggled — literally and figuratively — to conceive and carry Luke and for this pregnancy, well, we basically passed in the hall once three months ago. Whoops.) Anyway, I have to say that we’ll cope with baby number two and I know we’ll love it (uh, him or her) but I still think I would have been completely satisfied with just one.

By: Adrienne

Adrienne — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 15:38:51 +0000

The decision of how many kids to have is so subjective, and we really, in the end, base it on where we ourselves came from. I am an only child, and I really didn’t mind. I was bored occasionally, and as I’ve gotten older and my parents have aged, it’s been stressful to have to shoulder that burden by myself. But do either of those things diminish how happy my only child upbringing was? Not a bit. I don’t understand where this “Having only one child is cruel” thing comes from. On the other hand, I know people where having a sibling mitigated an otherwise unhappy homelife, so maybe it’s the parenting that makes a bigger difference than the siblings…

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:47:46 +0000

I do not have children and do not know if I am going to have children. My husband does not want any and I have no leaning one way or the other. I’ve never imagined myself as a mom. But telling people that you are a married couple and are NOT planning on having children is the end of days. I’ve had people scream at me or tell me I’m being ridiculous or even that I’m lying! Then people accuse me/us of being selfish. I’ve also been told that having only ONE child is the most selfish thing you could do in life and having no children is less selfish than having only one child.

I don’t get it.

By: Meg

Meg — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:46:01 +0000

Alice is funny in person too, huh? I love the idea of the question of looking around the table and saying “Are we all here yet?” We have no kids (we’re just getting married for goodness sake) but I have a feeling that question will stick with me for years. For us that won’t be after one (not an option!) but after two I think…

By: jackie

jackie — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:59:47 +0000

i am in the midst of making this same decision, so i watched this with great interest. it would have been nice if a couple of the moms who have decided to go for it had been included–heather for one. i would love to hear the other side of the reasoning. :-/

By: Moltomom

Moltomom — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:56:03 +0000

Such an intriguing question…and one that has been on my mind for quite awhile. I’m 6 months pregnant with our second boy (my first is 3) and it took us so long to finally decide to go for #2. We had always planned for 2 but once you get in the comfort zone of the first sleeping through the night and starting to become self-sufficient, it’s so dang hard to put yourself back in the sleep/time-deprived category!

Now that we’re almost through this pregnancy, I’ve surprised myself with thoughts like…”is this our family? are there any more?” Because now that it’s determined – we’ll have two boys – it seems so final. And I’m not sure I want it to be. Never expected to feel this way! But that’s the question…how do you know when your family is complete?