Advice from Mom, Part II
You can’t change people.
Learn to type. You can always be a secretary.
When someone is drowning, don’t jump in after them. Find a branch.
Men like it when you ask them to open the jars.
If you’re in a contest, you have to find a way to be different than everyone else.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one, Margaret.
If you ever want a nose job, I’ll pay for it.
In a fire, cover your mouth and nose with your T-shirt while you crawl out.
Airplanes are too big to float.
If you ever need birth control, you can go to Planned Parenthood and they’ll tell you what to do. I don’t want to know about it.