Merry Christmas!, originally uploaded by MaggieMason.

This is Santiago Francisco Jesus Mason de Necito Vega. He’s our excellent Christmas bush.

I just wrote a Gift Subscriptions guide for The Morning News that could help out if you’re still searching for gifts. While you’re there, I had a couple of tips in the Hangover Cures feature as well.

We give our server a bill worth twice the cost of our meal, and she vanishes. Some time later, we ask another waitress where she has gone. The waitress asks what she looked like. In Spanish, I say, “She had a short tail.” The waitress looks confused. “Her tail was short,” I say, gesturing toward my head. The waitress nods. “Do you mean her hair?” “Ah. Yes,” I say. “Her hair.”

More small differences between Argentina and home:

-An entire table of men in animated conversation will go completely silent when a woman walks by, in anticipation of checking out her ass once she passes.

-You have to ask for the check. In fact, you often have to get up from your table and go find your waiter so you can get the check. (This seems to be true everywhere but the U.S.)

-Everyone we meet is an artist.

-Bars have no last call, and nearly all of the women’s restrooms in bars have condom dispensers.

-This is the only place I’ve ever seen a roll of toilet paper hung on the wall next to the sink for use in drying one’s hands.

-In the grocery store, you have your vegetables weighed in the produce section. They put a tag on them so the cashier knows how much to charge you.

-Lowfat milk? No. Decaf? No.

-In our neighborhood alone, there are four car-washes that are also restaurants.

-You pay extra to sit outside.

-The napkins at many casual restaurants are like small squares of tissue paper.

-A burger “with everything” will come with tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, ham, and boiled or fried eggs on top.