Categories 
Nov
5
2007
Resolving Conflict Quickly
I just wrote a post on 43Folders about The Four Agreements. If you’re not familiar with 43Folders, it’s my friend Merlin’s productivity blog, and it’s pretty darn useful. Anyway, post excerpt:
I dread conflict. In fact, when I know a confrontation is imminent, it’s all I can think about. I mull it over when I could be labeling file folders, I ponder it while my inbox burgeons, while my 3×5 cards gather dust. Conflict is my productivity disaster.
Fortunately, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gave me a few significant tools for moving past conflict in any arena…
I, too, dread conflict, but simply reading this in your 43 Folders post caused a weight to instantly lift from my shoulders: “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
Nicely done!
So true! It is like all the parts of me are finally coming together – I read 43Folder and love productivity stuff, the Four Agreements is my favorite book ever, and I am reading this blog regularly. Serendipity…
Maggie, that was by far one of the best and most helpful articles I’ve ever read on any subject. No wonder you’re the coolest cat in town.
great reminders. thank you.
When I’m sick of dodging and ignoring I will all of a sudden jump on it full force…just to put it out of my misery. Always feel so good afterwards. Funny how I can’t just face it without all the foreplay.
Funny, I lent my copy of The Four Agreements to a co-worker a while back and just yesterday asked for it back because I felt like I needed a little refresher. It’s sitting right – there – next to my keyboard. Weird.
I love the Four Agreements. A friend turned me onto the book about a year ago. Only thing I find hard about it is that the “take nothing personally” is ALSO a directive for positive events. My friend says you aren’t suppose to take praise or positive events personally either and that’s even harder. I need to go back and re-read to see if I can find that part because I think I blocked it out completely!
Wow, this is so timely for me. As the holidays approach, resolving conflicts quickly among family members is coming to a head. And I do the same thing as you, mulling over anticipated or actual conflict instead of concentrating on what I should be doing. I spent my commutes home last night and into work this morning having imaginary conversations with current conflicting family members, instead of enjoying my NPR.