Comments on: Attention to Detail http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/ Famous Among Dozens Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:09:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: All Adither http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-146621 All Adither Wed, 19 Sep 2007 04:38:23 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-146621 Oh, how I hate to entertain. But I love your blog. The design is sublime. Oh, how I hate to entertain.

But I love your blog. The design is sublime.

]]> By: Cynthia http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-146514 Cynthia Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:11:08 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-146514 I work at a sprawling academic library with a diverse and interesting staff. Last year I cultivated a friendship with a charming and jaunty young woman (21), not long out of college. (I'm 46). I don't pretend to be young and she isn't averse to middle aged friends/acquaintances, and generally runs around with smart, artistic people her own age. Not too long ago, she told me about a largish dinner party that she and her five (6?) roommates had just had. She said it was electric. There was a special tension but nevertheless the hosts and guests were all giddy. The rule: upon arrival, all attendees were required to strip down to their undies (no one went braless). The girls did not wear lacy lingerie. Everyone wore their, well, regular underwear. If they refused, they couldn't attend. No underwear attire? No crudites. She reported that at this party, the conversation just flowed. A good time was had by all. No orgies here folks. Just good clean fun for the twenty-somethings. (Sorry twenty-somethings, I know that's a lame label!!). I loved the idea of this party. But I also told her that I did not want to see my friends in their underwear. That the food was much too important to me--to visually place it near someone's hairy belly roll. (Sorry belly rolls! In all other contexts you are cuddly and considered friend not foe!) Hats off to unusual dinner parties though! I work at a sprawling academic library with a diverse and interesting staff.

Last year I cultivated a friendship with a charming and jaunty young woman (21), not long out of college. (I’m 46). I don’t pretend to be young and she isn’t averse to middle aged friends/acquaintances, and generally runs around with smart, artistic people her own age.

Not too long ago, she told me about a largish dinner party that she and her five (6?) roommates had just had. She said it was electric. There was a special tension but nevertheless the hosts and guests were all giddy.

The rule: upon arrival, all attendees were required to strip down to their undies (no one went braless). The girls did not wear lacy lingerie. Everyone wore their, well, regular underwear. If they refused, they couldn’t attend. No underwear attire? No crudites.

She reported that at this party, the conversation just flowed. A good time was had by all.

No orgies here folks. Just good clean fun for the twenty-somethings. (Sorry twenty-somethings, I know that’s a lame label!!). I loved the idea of this party. But I also told her that I did not want to see my friends in their underwear. That the food was much too important to me–to visually place it near someone’s hairy belly roll. (Sorry belly rolls! In all other contexts you are cuddly and considered friend not foe!)

Hats off to unusual dinner parties though!

]]> By: Anna http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-146210 Anna Tue, 18 Sep 2007 23:37:58 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-146210 My blog reading today follows a trend. First there was the delicious cocktail chatter blog: http://theerrantaesthete.com/ Everyone needs a worthy tidbit, a gleaming pearl of an item to start a great conversation, which one presumably would have at (continuing my blog reading trend that took me from cocktails to dinner parties) a dinner party at Valentino's. I totally get his intention. It's easy sometimes to settle in with the one or two people you know at a party; the real adventure begins when you take the time to discover who else your host has invited. Mingle, people! My blog reading today follows a trend. First there was the delicious cocktail chatter blog:

http://theerrantaesthete.com/

Everyone needs a worthy tidbit, a gleaming pearl of an item to start a great conversation, which one presumably would have at (continuing my blog reading trend that took me from cocktails to dinner parties) a dinner party at Valentino’s. I totally get his intention. It’s easy sometimes to settle in with the one or two people you know at a party; the real adventure begins when you take the time to discover who else your host has invited. Mingle, people!

]]> By: Laural http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-146026 Laural Tue, 18 Sep 2007 22:08:49 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-146026 All of my dinner parties have turned into disastrously humorous occassions, where my husband and I fall exhausted on the couch when everyone has left, laughing over all the ways in which things went wrong. The eventual conclusion was to leave the dinner parties to the people who know how to do them best, which was NOT us. Now I just throw BBQs and let everyone mill about on the back patio. Less work, less stress, but in a way, I do miss all the preparation involved in inviting, seating and entertaining guests. It's exciting! Maybe we'll give it another try in a few years. All of my dinner parties have turned into disastrously humorous occassions, where my husband and I fall exhausted on the couch when everyone has left, laughing over all the ways in which things went wrong. The eventual conclusion was to leave the dinner parties to the people who know how to do them best, which was NOT us. Now I just throw BBQs and let everyone mill about on the back patio. Less work, less stress, but in a way, I do miss all the preparation involved in inviting, seating and entertaining guests. It’s exciting! Maybe we’ll give it another try in a few years.

]]> By: misstraceynolan http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-145594 misstraceynolan Tue, 18 Sep 2007 18:39:08 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-145594 Hey Valentino - it's far too many - isn't it? Hey Valentino – it’s far too many – isn’t it?

]]> By: CLH http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-145447 CLH Tue, 18 Sep 2007 17:18:06 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-145447 While these things can't be controlled, having an intention and a good plan to create that atmosphere is something definitely worth doing, I think. I once hosted a small dinner party with folks from different parts of my life who didn't know each other but I felt should know each other! I made place cards (kinda large, with "to your left" & "to your right" columns) with curious little facts about their dining partners, as a way to help them break the ice (lots of introverts in my life). For instance, one of them had been an online advice columnist briefly, had lived in Texas, Minnesota, Arizona and California, collected the most ridiculous, failed examples of sock monkeys, and had dinner with the poet John Ashbery when she was 19. Anyway, like that, around the table. I think it helped. While these things can’t be controlled, having an intention and a good plan to create that atmosphere is something definitely worth doing, I think. I once hosted a small dinner party with folks from different parts of my life who didn’t know each other but I felt should know each other! I made place cards (kinda large, with “to your left” & “to your right” columns) with curious little facts about their dining partners, as a way to help them break the ice (lots of introverts in my life). For instance, one of them had been an online advice columnist briefly, had lived in Texas, Minnesota, Arizona and California, collected the most ridiculous, failed examples of sock monkeys, and had dinner with the poet John Ashbery when she was 19. Anyway, like that, around the table. I think it helped.

]]> By: B http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-145398 B Tue, 18 Sep 2007 16:55:59 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-145398 I don't understand what Valentino refers to with "get caught up in the media" -- but whatever he does mean, how would that be the opposite of, or how would it hinder, paying attention to one's manners? I don’t understand what Valentino refers to with “get caught up in the media” — but whatever he does mean, how would that be the opposite of, or how would it hinder, paying attention to one’s manners?

]]> By: KP http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-145396 KP Tue, 18 Sep 2007 16:53:17 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-145396 Valentino is actually following an old etiquitte custom. Back in the days when formal dinner parties were the norm, people would be seated guy-girl-guy-girl, around the table. The rules for which way to turn during each course were reversed for men and women. So, when Valentino is turning to his right during the first course, the woman to his right was turing to her left. Supposedly, everyone knew this rule, and this way no one was left with no one to talk to. Valentino is actually following an old etiquitte custom. Back in the days when formal dinner parties were the norm, people would be seated guy-girl-guy-girl, around the table. The rules for which way to turn during each course were reversed for men and women. So, when Valentino is turning to his right during the first course, the woman to his right was turing to her left.
Supposedly, everyone knew this rule, and this way no one was left with no one to talk to.

]]> By: Barbara http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-145095 Barbara Tue, 18 Sep 2007 14:04:38 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-145095 I think Valentino's point is to have some thought to what you are doing with respect to others. Which is the point of manners. I don't think he is suggesting everyone turn this way or that, it is to have some regard for your guests, be a respectful host. A little planning goes a long way. I always think it interesting when I am invited for dinner but required to bring food or beverage or money. I like to bring a hostess gift, say a bottle of wine, but nowadays hosts ask for you to bring everything from meat, cash to your own beverage. For example, we were just invited to Octoberfest. Last year the same hosts with a huge home - (SITCOM-ers Single Income Three Children Oppressive Mortgage) "entertained" 100+ guests in their garage/driveway (it rained so they had a small tent), we were served hot dogs or brats and each couple was asked to bring "your favorite beer." The host complained to me later what a huge expense this party was. I think Valentino’s point is to have some thought to what you are doing with respect to others. Which is the point of manners. I don’t think he is suggesting everyone turn this way or that, it is to have some regard for your guests, be a respectful host. A little planning goes a long way.

I always think it interesting when I am invited for dinner but required to bring food or beverage or money. I like to bring a hostess gift, say a bottle of wine, but nowadays hosts ask for you to bring everything from meat, cash to your own beverage. For example, we were just invited to Octoberfest. Last year the same hosts with a huge home – (SITCOM-ers Single Income Three Children Oppressive Mortgage) “entertained” 100+ guests in their garage/driveway (it rained so they had a small tent), we were served hot dogs or brats and each couple was asked to bring “your favorite beer.” The host complained to me later what a huge expense this party was.

]]> By: Nicole http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/comment-page-1/#comment-145003 Nicole Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:13:15 +0000 http://mightygirl.com/2007/09/17/attention-to-detail/#comment-145003 The dinner party is a lost art. Even if you don't cook (and why should you, just get good take out or deli food and put it on your own china!), the fun is in the guest list and planning the drinks and dessert. I suppose the "right/left" thing would work if you, as host, sat at the head of the table. Or at a round table (it might not be so bad). I agree, everytime we have a huge gathering, you don't get to talk to half the people, and they end up clumping. So if your intent was for strangers to meet, it doesn't happen. Note to self: buy place cards for next dinner party. The dinner party is a lost art. Even if you don’t cook (and why should you, just get good take out or deli food and put it on your own china!), the fun is in the guest list and planning the drinks and dessert.

I suppose the “right/left” thing would work if you, as host, sat at the head of the table. Or at a round table (it might not be so bad). I agree, everytime we have a huge gathering, you don’t get to talk to half the people, and they end up clumping. So if your intent was for strangers to meet, it doesn’t happen.

Note to self: buy place cards for next dinner party.

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