Bryan: I know you’re hungry, little baby, so you’ll want to get your hands out of the way. Stop pushing the bottle away, little guy.
Me: (cooing voice) Who doesn’t know what hands are yet? Whooo doesn’t understand the basic principles of physics? Whooo?
Bryan: Who jerks around like he has some sort of grave neurological disorder? Whoooo?
Both: It’s Henry! It’s Heeeenry!

I just splashed water on my face without removing my glasses, and moments later I tried to eat the pen in my left hand while holding a banana in my right.