We went grocery shopping at 6 a.m. on a weekday, and it blew my mind, people.

Rather than deciding between the meagre remaining cartons of lemon and vanilla yogurt, we found Stonyfield Farm Organic Lowfat Raspberry yogurt. I didn’t even know this existed. I wanted to pour it in aisle and roll around in it.

Don’t even ask what happened when we got to the Ben and Jerry’s.

Thus far, I’ve spent 32 waking hours in a car in the last seven days. Apologies for the lack of posts, I thought the place where we were staying had Internet access, but I was not correct. I am an utter failure at the NaBloPoMo experiment.

Yesterday, we stopped for a van that had slid off the road into a ditch in Nevada. There were three adults and a two-year-old girl in the van. None of them spoke English, and none of them had warm clothes. I stumbled along in halting Spanish, and figured out that two of the adults (the ones with the baby) were deaf and possibly mute. I briefly wondered how we managed to end up in a David Lynch movie.

We took those two and the kid to a dubious bar/grocery called Water Hole #1, and explained the situation to a weathered, unhappy bartender. “What am I supposed to do with them?” he asked. We told him we’d return to tell the other guy where they were, and he’d pick them up.

We bought them some food and drinks, and wrote down what was happening in Spanish so they’d know. As we left, one of the drunk patrons was ambling toward the counter with a variety box of travel-sized cereals for the little girl.

Right now we’re in a hotel in Reno, preparing for the rest of the drive home. First, we’ll need to get chains. And about 16 magazines. And at least three tubes of chapstick.

Tomorrow I’ll return to our regularly scheduled programming. I’m in karmic debt for six posts. Fortunately, I’ve got some time on my hands.

I just finished a couple of gift guides for Mighty Goods. Check out the Covet Gift Guide for luxury gifts, and the Holiday Gift Guide for unique, mid-range presents.

I apologize for mentioning holiday shopping before we’ve even cleared Thanksgiving. I hope you’ll forgive me the indiscretion, as early guides make it possible for you to pour a glass of wine, order all of your presents without fear of rush fees or shipping delays, and use the hours of shopping time you’ve saved to pour yourself a few more glasses of wine.

-So I told him to grow up, and he was like, “I don’t plan to.”
-Whoa. You have to take him at his word there.
-Don’t I know it.
- I’ve never understood guys who say shit like that out loud, like it’s some badge of honor. “I don’t ever want to grow up. I’m still exploring my childlike wonder.”
-It’s like, “Later, virgin.”

Oh my, but this cracks me up. Yet another sign that I’m going to be an excellent mother.