Mighty Life List
Oct 23 2006

MacNeil and Lehrer

Me: You know the weirdest thing about these boobs?
Bryan: What?
M: Every night when I change into pajamas, I realize crumbs of food have been collecting in my cleavage all day long. It’s not hot.
B: I love how you say “these boobs” instead of “my boobs.” Like they’re an inconvenient college roommate who’s been assigned to you.
M: I can’t relate to them.

27 Responses to “MacNeil and Lehrer”

  • Karen Says:

    I sympathise with you Maggie. And I hate to say it, but they may further yet become an entity unto themselves…

  • mercurial scribe Says:

    Amen!

  • kerewin Says:

    How about that stray hair that always gets caught in the bra? Very itchy, very distracting. These boobs just seem extraneous!

  • s@bd Says:

    I was relating just fine until the kids came along.

  • DeeDee Says:

    I agree – sometimes they are incredibly inconvenient – and definately seem to take on a life of their own.

  • NoShowMo Says:

    Wait until they become the Continental Shelf — a depository for all spills, drops, and misses of various food and liquid items. You’ll no longer need a napkin in your lap at dinner.

    At least you know they’re temporary.

  • dust Says:

    Ha! I remember those days. I would look back over everything I’d eaten and be able to find crumbs of most of it wedged somewhere in my maternity bra. Yuck! And then I’d find everything my daughter had eaten down there, too…EWWWWWW!

  • Joe Says:

    You should refer to yourself in the third person when speaking of the boobs as well.

  • shy me Says:

    Boobs. Bah.

    Anyone want to trade?

  • Blythe Says:

    In the midst of a rough day of ‘morning’ sickness, I called my husband at work. “And another thing!” I said, “Whose boobs are these?”

  • Karianna Says:

    Soon those boobs will have cookies AND milk.

  • MomVee Says:

    When my mom was pregnant with my little brother, she got a perm. And then one day she looked at me and said, “I have what I’ve always wanted, my whole life: curly hair and big boobs. But I don’t feel like myself at all, and I can’t enjoy it.”

  • Elly Says:

    MomVee: Your comments are always terrific!

  • Jen Says:

    Ah, if only I had some boobs to not relate to…

    Jen
    inthegutter.typepad.com

  • steph Says:

    Welcome to my world. Crumbs in the cleavage. Ugh. Weirdest thing I’ve ever found in my bra: my cell phone. I put it there one day when I had no pockets and forgot all about it, until I found it later.

    And yes, pregnant boobs (and more so lactating boobs) take on this whole life of their own. Just wait. It gets very bizarre.

  • Dmom Says:

    I was looking back at the pictures of me when I was breastfeeding….seriously they were the size of my head. I even have a big head and big boobs, but breastfeeding boobs…huge. Just wait till you’re done breastfeeding and your boobs no longer have any shape other than the shape of the wonderbra you put them into…it’s good times {:o)

  • paper Says:

    at least if you get hungry you’ll have some food with you!

  • amy Says:

    Oh honey… I went from a B cup to a DD! Plus, when all was said and done I was left with Ds. I still don’t know what to do with them!

  • jocelyn Says:

    Dmom has the real truth. Wait until you have to look for your boobs in your armpits 15 years after your first kid. That’s a moment of pride.

  • Peggasus Says:

    Last summer, while attending a Tom Petty concert, I smuggled in several (3) little airline bottles of vodka in my cleavage, because I didn’t feel like paying $7 for a drink. Then I mixed them with the lemon Propel I WAS allowed to bring in. Cleavage can be your friend. Remember this for when you are no longer pregnant.

  • Heather Says:

    See, I find my large boobs rather useful – I store things in my cleavage. Cell phones, water bottles, cups, anything that doesn’t fit in my pockets. My favorite way to talk on the phone is to nestle the cell phone in my cleavage and use my headset. Practical and safe.

  • gwendomama Says:

    I now have da nursing boobs. which are also temporary. yesterday my baby woke up coughing and moments later i was saying (more casually than one might expect), “Honey, please get me a towel, i have vomit in my cleavage.”

  • Jonathan Says:

    Ummm… you know, most guys are never going to think anything about their significant other isn’t wonderful – no matter how much she tries to validate the reason that “this is too fat”, or “that is horrid”, or “I hate that”…

    (p.s. just discovered your blog, and am adding it to my blogroll immediately – looking forward to future posts in an almost unhealthy manner)

  • CJ Allen Says:

    Try rolling over early in the morning only to find that part of your anatomy has been replaced by a pencil with feeling. Like the Robin Williams bit goes, it never fails … a man’s penis is always up five minutes before him.

  • bridget Says:

    wait till you hose your husband down with “those” boobs. priceless.

  • Mrs. CPA Says:

    I have always had “those boobs.” I even got them reduced in college. The baby brought them back. We always referred to that crumb phenomenon as a “buffet.”

  • jon Says:

    Which one is MacNeil and which one is Lehrer?
    Heather… Cell phone in My Cleavage sounds like an excellent song title!