My friend Courtney sent me a conversation. She says:

I was on my way back to the apartment this morning after moving the car and saw a woman dropping her 6-ish-year-old girl off at the bus. I thought you would appreciate their exchange:

“Now, you behave today. You got a problem, you talk to the teacher. No gettin’ in any fights.”

“OK.”

“And no talkin’ back!”

“OK”

“And no hittin’ anybody…”

“OK”

“less they hit you first.”

It is 7 a.m. on Saturday morning, and the shirtless young man on the corner is high. He is wearing headphones and jerking rhythmically to the music. As we pass, he reaches into his pockets and pulls out change. He throws it into the street, and yells, Pennies, begone!

Me: It’s time for me to shave.

Cyclist Guy: Me too.

Me: I mean my armpits.

CG: Oh. I don’t shave my armpits.

Me: You should. It makes them look bigger.