Archive for May, 2005

I’m posting from the airport where I’m waiting to catch a plane to Australia! I’ve wanted to visit Australia pretty much my entire life, so I’m atremble with glee. Keep an eye on my Flickr account (link at left). I’ll post whenever I’m near an Internet connection.
Also, I’m a wee bit superstitious, and wasn’t […]

Me: (reading sign)Gold Medal Strippers?
Bryan: They only strip to the national anthem.
Me: Ah.

“They had my mouth all stretched open, and my lips were cracking, so they kept putting Vaseline on, but it would dry out and get all stiff. They would just slap more on, like everywhere, without looking where they were putting it. I was laying there thinking, this is basically my personal hell, my mouth […]

Scenario: At our favorite Irish pub, the bartender is crying. She has just unwittingly served an underage informant and is receving a citation when we enter. The officer leaves, and for the next hour, the bar is abuzz with the news.
Bartender: (distraught)I thought she was older than me! She looked just like you, Lisa. Like […]

My hands, immortalized.

At an outdoor cafe, my bag rests near my chair. A woman walks by with her dog on a leash. She sees a neighbor and stops to chat next to my table. The dog wanders over to my backpack, sniffs it disinterestedly, lifts his leg, and pees.

I just finished a Mother’s Day gift guide for last-minute givers. You’ll find it on Mighty Goods, and also over at The Morning News. All the listed gifts are from sites that offer the option of quick delivery.