In this month’s Esquire, Muhammad Ali says, “What you’re thinking is what you’re becoming.” When I shared this quote with Leslie she responded, “That’s chilling.” I’d have to agree. It’s about time to ponder the works of Mother Theresa. Or a Britney Spears video. We all have our own aspirations.

From “Pange Lingua” by Thomas Lynch:

This is the voice I talk to myself in.

The one that says, before I fall asleep,

the children will all grow up and outlive me;

my mother’s tumor will be benign;

the women who loved me will always love me.

For those of you who also have surplus maraschino cherries on your hands, Stace Dayment had a good tip for me:

“Dump out liquid and save for drinks/Shirley Temples. Fill back up with bourbon. Put in fridge until the next big party. Make frou-frou desserts with those cherries on top or, just serve the cherries alone.”

I was fast-forwarding through commercials the other day (thanks TiVo!) when I caught a nanosecond of a woman pole dancing. What the…? I stopped; rewound. Turns out it was a cheesy commercial for Centerfolds, a local strip joint. There were dozens of taut women pouting, gyrating, and otherwise seducing the home video camera. Their slogan, “Absolutely nothing is left to the imagination,” made me wonder when that became a selling point.

We pause at a stoplight behind a car that has an enormous fish decal covering most of the back window.

Me: That guy loves fishin’.

B: He likes, killin’ ‘em, cookin’ ‘em, and stickin’ them on the back of his SUV.

Me: Where did he get that? Who thought, “You know what would be a big seller? A 3-foot-wide Rainbow Trout decal.”

B: Are you kidding? You’ve spent too much time in California. People have all kinds of shit like that on their cars.

Me: Is that true? Many people have large animal decals in their back windows?

B: Sure.

Me: Oh, America.

B: That’s why other countries are so jealous of us.

Me: The 3-foot fish decals?

B: The fish paraphernalia of all kinds. Fish decals, wooden fish models, fish oil paintings, great big beach towels with fish printed on them.

Me: Take that, world!