Mighty Life List, brought to you by Verizon
Apr 30 2003

ADVENTURES IN BAD COPYWRITING

Has anyone listened to the rapper in the background on that Dodge Durango commercial? He actually says: “I grab life like I grab my wife!”

Which is just a smidge more awful than the compelling tagline on the posters for the new Lizzie McGuire movie: “She’s leaving home and going to Rome.”

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Apr 29 2003

WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW YESTERDAY

etude n. Music

A piece composed for the development of a specific point of technique.

[from Old French estudie, study.]

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Apr 28 2003

PROJECTING

Do you understand those people who keep colonies of stuffed animals in the rear windows of their cars? Do they hope that other motorists will see the collection and be impressed by their obvious appreciation of cute cuddliness? At night, aren’t they concerned that the especially cute, cuddly ones will come to life and wriggle their way into the front seat to lie in wait for their return?

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Apr 28 2003

EAU DE POACHED SALMON

When I wear perfume, I usually wear lemon verbena, sometimes vanilla. My favorite lipstick tastes sweet and smells like chocolate. Bryan’s mom was getting me some lotion as a gift and asked Bryan what kind of perfumes I like. He said, “She likes to smell like food.”

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Apr 28 2003

BOILING THE OCEAN

SUAC v. Acronym for “Shut Up and Color”. How Marketing and Engineering departments often think (or wish) design should be done.

Jeff’s been keeping a list of corporate jargon.

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