Mighty Life List
Jan 20 2003

Proud to Be An American?

Three best signs from the anti-war march in SF:

Calm down, Mr. President.

Iraq is Arabic for Vietnam.

This guy right here don’t want war.

Also, Tom Ammiano barely catches himself:

“We’re here!

We’re present!

Get used to it!”

Jan 20 2003

Better with Bacon

B: Have you heard of this Go-gurt crap?

L: Yeah.

J: What? What are they talking about?

Me: It’s like yogurt in a tube so you can throw it in your backpack and go!

B: Every time I see those ads, I want everyone involved fired.

Me: Worst idea ever.

L: They should make ranch-flavored. With beef bits.

Me: Aaaaaa. Jerky-ranch.

L: Or with baco-bits. They stay crispy! How do they do that?

Jan 20 2003

Observant

L: I’m taking off my shoes now.

Me: OK.

L: I’ve got some good-looking feet.

Me: You do have good feet. They’re little. What size do you wear?

L: Eight.

Me: Really? They look smaller.

L: I was kidding, but at least all my toes are the right length. You know?

Me: No.

L: I can’t stand the girls who have those extra-long second toes and they still wear sandals.

Me: I have monkey toes.

L: I don’t mean long, I mean uneven.

Me: What?

L: You know what I’m talking about. The second toe is way longer than the first toe, and it’s actually sticking out over the edge of their sandal.

Me: I have never noticed that.

L: You haven’t? Oh my god. It freaks me out. Sometimes both of the next two toes are longer than the big toe. It’s like creepy spider toes crawling out over the edge of the sandal. Yeeeeh. Why would you wear sandals knowing that you have this problem?

Jan 20 2003

Cool Hunter

Blondies is a lovely place. It’s a martini bar where they give you the shaker with your drink. This means that you have the first martini in your glass, and two more waiting for you in the shaker. Three martinis for the price of one makes it an excellent place to get to know people. Mostly drunk people. Or the 300-pound man in a pink leotard and tutu with heart-shaped deedleeboppers on his head. He seemed to be on his own, chatting with the door guy for a while before moseying off down the street. That was when I noticed his leg warmers. So I guess they are coming back.

Jan 20 2003

Somewhere to Be

Yesterday, I saw a hearse driver peel out and flip someone off. That has to be in direct violation of the employee handbook.

Jan 15 2003

Underemployed

As of this morning New Architect magazine is no more. And that means I’ve gone from being a managing editor to looking for bartending gigs. I don’t own a single Wonderbra, people.

Jan 14 2003

Baubles

The Morning News just posted my article on accessories. Go visit Women’s Fashion, Part IV: Accessories.