Mighty Life List
Aug 15 2002

At Long Last, Victory

I totally won the office picnic hula-hoop contest. Then I had a sno-cone.

Aug 14 2002

She Got Sauce

On meeting a girl who I can’t believe is still single:

Me: Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Maggie.

Her: Hi, I’m Kate.

(Conversation ensues.)

Kate: I’m sorry, what was your name again? I’m horrible with names.

Me: No problem, it’s Maggie. I don’t remember yours either.

Kate: Here, I’ll do the little Kate dance to help cement it. (Throws hands in hair, shakes bum and turns in little circles while chanting, “Kate! Kate! Kate!)

Me: I will never, ever forget that again.

Aug 12 2002

Fourteen Girls and a Bottle of Rum

I removed three pairs of boxer briefs from my purse this morning. The bachelorette went well. It is decidedly easier than I ever imagined to find a man who will remove his underwear on a public street. Many thanks to Rich, Jed, and John, all of whom gave selflessly for the cause. Happy wedding, Ali.


SUGAR ON TOP

Another article up at The Morning News, please go and read it. Don’t Be Rude: Part II, Relationships.

Aug 8 2002

The Odds

So I’m planning a bachelorette party. Is anyone surprised that my Google search for:

San Francisco “straight male strippers”

produced zero results?


ELSEWHERE

Mark Eitzel has a particularly mesmerizing link list. Find out what death-row convicts order for their last meals, study the intricacies of bagpipe music in movies, gain unlimited access to My Little Pony GIFs, and explore the decaying buildings of Detroit. Go to his site and click on All for more goodies.


826 VALENCIA FUNDRAISER

Him: My shoes were just way over the top.

Her: Yeah.

Aug 7 2002

Opposition

Me: What are you getting?

Him: A Caramel Macchiato.

Me: You can’t do that.

Him: They’re so good though.

Me: Don’t do it.

He: I really want one.

Me: You can do it. The option is yours.

Him: I know. I shouldn’t.

Me: There are certainly more honorable ways to sacrifice your manhood.


MY BRAIN

Just returned from a beautiful wedding in San Diego. They were married in a Japanese tea garden, and they even took the time to write their own vows. Everything was perfectly lovely; I snuffled through the whole thing. But what I’ll remember most thirty years from now is my improperly puerile giggle when the bride and groom promised to “play with each other” for the rest of their lives.

I may be reading books written for college kids, but I’m still laughing at a seventh-grade level.