“Our Town”, my latest piece for the Morning News, is a creepy article about real towns where weird stuff happens. I came across a few odd things while researching the article. None of them were quite right for the piece, but they were cool nonetheless.

For example, the Bonne Terre Mine in Missouri fell into disuse in 1962. Groundwater flooded the tunnels, and today they’re open to divers who swim down to see old train tracks and carts, steam-powered jackhammers, and abandoned mining equipment.

An old missile silo in Texas is another attraction for divers. The once top-secret underground bunker used to contain nuclear weapons, but the concrete silo now contains a quiet well of groundwater. Divers enter the complex by descending a long staircase, passing through several blast doors and the launch control bunker, and entering a tunnel that leads them to the silo. From there they enter the deep pool of water, which is 52 feet wide. A pile of metal debris and the missile control station wait below, 18 stories underwater.

Our relationship in ten seconds:

Me: I’m going to go look at magazines.

Him: I’m going to go look at beer.

I’m going to start doing reviews for filmcritic.com. Unfortunately, filmcritic.com is ugly. I had the following conversation with Chris:

Dude, your site is ugga-ugga.

No it’s not!

It’s mauve. With yellow type.

It’s burgundy. It’s not ugly.

What is this font?

It’s all messed up because you’re using a Mac.

As are many people who care about site design.

It’s not mauve.

It’s offensive.

Well then, redesign it. I’m not a designer.

Me neither, but it’s a good site. I bet I could find someone who would do it for free.

Really?

Maybe. It gets a lot of traffic.

O.K.

This is not some rinkydink site. It gets about 35,000 hits a day and has been mentioned in CNN, Yahoo! Internet Life, HotWired, B!Zine, and regularly appears on Yahoo! Movies. Also, it is mauve. I know there are designers, art directors, and information architects in the Bay Area who are spending much of the day watching Dukes of Hazzard and updating their blogs. Anyone feel like doing a makeover? This would be a colossal before/after portfolio piece. I will bring you baked goods, and Chris will be generally kind to you. Email if you’re interested.

Addendum: We found someone. Quickly. I was shocked and heartened by how many generous offers flooded my inbox. You guys are the best. Thanks to everyone who responded. I wish I could bake for each and every one of you, but that would be more flour than I could safely cart home from the grocery store. The dirty work goes to Mike Monteiro of Mule Design (you may know him as Henry’s dad). He’s swell, and therefore, he deserves some biscuits. Thanks again to all of you who wrote.

Think of the people you know who have ancestors of ethnicities that don’t generally make babies together. Why are these people often more attractive than the rest of us? My theory is this: If you’re going to jump the race barriers and take on all the cultural crud that makes interracial dating so difficult, you’re only going to do it for someone who’s really, really hot.