When I was fifteen, I was scouting the most advantageous lunch spot on the quad. I also spent a lot of time on my hair. I’ve got eleven years on Katie, and she’s still cooler than me. She says:

april 30 2002

Final proof that there’s no such thing as god, and also wishes don’t come true:

Today in the hallway Steven Fuckhead said “HI KATIE” to me and all his friends who were standing around laughed, so obviously he wasn’t hit by a bus and ground into little pieces like I asked.

april 25 2002

A funny joke:

Ed: I say old chap, knocke knocke!

Fred: Wha? Hullo, who might that be?

Ed: WHy I dare say it’s “orange” my good man!

Fred: Well I never. “Orange?” you say? “Orange” whom?

Ed: “Orange” you glad I’m only going to stab you in ONE of your eyes? Ah ha!

Fred: Dear me!

ps. This joke is funny because they have british accents

(via Anil)

I was headed for a film festival, but had a dentist visit just before. He knocked around for a while and said, All set. Just don’t eat popcorn for a few weeks.

When I was little, our kitchen sink had a bright light just above it. In the summer evenings, Mom would leave the back door open for air, and moths would come to knock stupidly against the light. One night, a moth flew into my mom�s ear while she was washing dishes. It was still alive, so she could feel it fluttering in panic as Dad drove her to the hospital to have it removed with an extra-long pair of tweezers.

After twenty years, thinking of this incident still provokes my gag reflex.