Archive for November, 2001

11.29.01 SPEAKING OF “MORK AND MINDY”

Robin Williams was at the opening performance of “Proof” last night. He was wearing a suit with wide horizontal stripes in red, black, yellow, and green. We saw him at the after-party too, where one of my friends overheard him doing an impression of Osama Bin Laden’s answering machine: […]

11.27.01 ADVENTURES IN COPYEDITING

Scenario: Deadline day. Sitting on couch, proofreading with co-worker for the last eight hours.
Me: Ogg Vorbis sounds like something off of “Mork and Mindy.”
Her: Yeah, isn’t that weird? Did you see the company name?
Me: No… (Scans article.) Xiphophorous?
Her: That’s it.
Me: “Gentlemen, I present the honorable Ogg […]

11.27.01 TRUTH IN ADVERTISING

There’s a tatoo parlor near my sister’s place called House of Pain. If I ever open a small business, I’m going to give it a similarly candid name. Perhaps a bikini-waxing salon called Torture Your Tenders. People appreciate honesty.
4:02 p.m.

You know what’s not pleasant? Drinking at the water fountain and feeling the stream of water dip when someone flushes the toilet in the bathroom next door.

11.26.01 MIDDLE AMERICAN GOODNESS

This weekend, I watched a documentary on the square dancing and clogging national championships. The voiceover narrative was priceless, “Dance Explosion has cause for concern. The Southern Belles are dancing so well, it’s almost supernatural.” Afterward a Lawnmower race came on.
Also, loved the “60 Minutes” segment on Thomas Kincaid, “painter of […]

11.21.01 WEB WISDOM

From Bucolic Front: “often i will talk about dealing with people in crisis or tumultuous relationship strife or any other variety of disturbance, and how strange it is to be around crazy people and how careful you have to be not to get any on you”
And Jeri also makes a […]

11.20.01 LADIES NIGHT

Scenario: Discussing the week’s events.
Excerpt:
Lady 1: This week has been kind of tough. Jim has this really good girlfriend who he went to school with who’s visiting. She’s spent all this time working as a doctor in Ecuador…
Lady 2: …Threatening.
Lady 1: And all the guys are friends with her, […]

SAFETY FEATURES

The 11.15.01 strip from Gimme Back My God was a good one, “This SUV comes equipped with many safety features. Which is good because if you’re in an accident, you’ll want to be in peak physical health as you gloat over the broken bodies of your victims.”

BRING IT, GOOGLE

Someone just arrived at […]

11.19.01 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ERNIE

OVERHEARD
Characters: Two girls standing above the dance floor
Girl 1: I’ll go over.
Girl 2: WAIT! We have to make sure he sees you first. Does he see you?
Girl 1: STOP LOOKING!
Characters: Friends on the balcony
Her: How’s the trolling?
Him: Eh. It doesn’t matter anyway. All these people are from Oakland, […]

11.16.01 EDITORIAL INTEGRITY PART DEUX

More fun with Craigslist:
“32 — Recently laid off and now working in the sex industry?
From: asanders@sfexaminer.com
Thu Nov 15th
If you (or someone you know) lost your job this year and are doing sex work to make ends meet– phone sex, dominatrix work or other sex-related gigs — please email […]