This guy wants to be a cat. He’s filed his teeth down, his nails are clawlike, and he has stripe tattoos all over his body. Now he wants fur. Rowrrr! Hey there, Tiger.

(via preshcat!)

2:35 p.m.

Ugly Fat Kid summarizes the average American political sentiment in under ten seconds: “I say we should pass a law about all these problems. There. That covers it. Now on to sports…”

3:57 p.m.

Three confessions:

• I type my grocery list.
• I had Fritos for breakfast.
• Last night, I watched the entire Miss Teen USA pageant, even the part where Mandy Moore sang barefoot.

11:09 a.m.

Tuesday night at Naps is Karaoke night. The hot dogs on the back table may be gray, but they’re free. There’s also a wholesale-sized tub of relish if that’s your gig. When we got there, about five regulars lined the bar, and a fellow named Brian was singing a drunken-scat version of “If You Think I’m Sexy.”

“If you beh-dee SEXY

ahn you me-dee BODY

Wee-bby beeh-doo body KNOW.”

Meanwhile, frustrated barflies screamed the actual lyrics and made instructive gestures at Brian, who smiled vaguely, raised his arms above his head, and gyrated. Did I mention free hot dogs? Awesome.

11:18 a.m.

Overheard: My neighborhood (Noe Valley) in a nutshell.

Characters: Three thirty-somethings shift indecisively in the street.

Woman 1: That doesn’t make sense, we’ll have to double back.

Man: Well, what do you want to do?

Woman 3: Let’s go get the dog, then go to Starbucks.

3:55 p.m.

p.s. Go see The Others. Great, great movie. Karma gods were paying me back for Original Sin.

3:57 p.m.

Top three lines from Original Sin:

• It’s a letter from a stranger. Someone I don’t know.
• You’re in the skin trade, baby, the skin trade.
• (Angelina Jolie to a priest Do you believe in forgiveness? Redemption for the human soul?

1:55 p.m.