9.14.00

Some chick is out at a bar one night thinking, “Sure, you can see my nipples thorough my shirt most of the time. But what if it’s warm out, or my shirt isn’t creating enough friction? There may be entire minutes when my nipples aren’t as perky and visible as I’d like. How can I ensure that my nipples look exactly how I want them to look all the time?”

Enter Body Perks, a site that sells fake nipples to paste over your -real- nipples. The idea is that they’ll be at attention all the time and will more effectively show through your shirt. And get their catchy ad slogan: “Nipples are in!”

Right.

2:04 p.m.

9.14.00

This is the most interesting portion of an article on the possibility of implanting computer chips in our brains:

Researchers at the University of
Washington estimate that it will take them a
decade to implant tiny computer chips into the
brain of a sea slug, which will then be released to
wander the ocean floor under video surveillance.

When the slug moves forward, dozens of
intracellular electrodes will record its neural
activity. When the slug stops, the electrodes will
record that, too.

When enough data have been collected, the
scientists will begin reverse-programming:
feeding the recorded electrical patterns back into
the slug’s brain. If all goes well, the slug will go
forward. (The military applications are
staggering.)

10:28 a.m.

9.12.00

Technology advances so fast that I feel like Judy Jetson. This is a great idea:

The furry mascots of the 2000 Summer Olympics
in Sydney — as well as an avalanche of caps,
T-shirts, mugs, pins and other official Olympics
merchandise — are being tagged with invisible
ink containing DNA strands from an unidentified
Australian athlete.

3:44 p.m.

9.8.00

Engrish.com has a bunch of terrific Japanese mistranslations. This schedule book says, “Have a smell of panda droppings. This one is very fragrant.”

10:23 a.m.

9.7.00

Disturbing auctions scours eBay and the like for items of concern. The “God Bless Our Truckers” velvet painting is an example, more of my favorites include:

A purse fashioned from a bull’s scrotum.

A drunken noses “sculpture.”

Ghost Poop.

1:49 p.m.